Can we talk about stuff? The kind of stuff that accumulates over time. The kind of stuff that you think you need or might need someday? The stuff that you think you're being really really organized about and then you forget about it until you decide to tackle the situation and you can't even remember why you kept the stuff to begin with? Like a pile of rolodex cards for the rolodex that you threw away with the invention of the computer. Or gobs and gobs of receipts--from 2002. Or how about art projects that you thought killed in college--now, not so much save for the hours of tedious yellow marker.

Because I'm still in the process of moving out of my space in Bridgehampton and back into my home office... which is requiring a massive reorganization before bringing more stuff in... which means that I have to go through it all to make sure that the colored pencils that are over a decade old are still worth a damn. Or the design trade publications from 1998 that I moved from one state and then another and yet another and still haven't read. Do you think the theories will still apply? Ordinarily I would walk away from this situation in an attempt to avoid the hives that are slowly forming up my neck -- but I don't have any choice in the matter. I used to just tiptoe around the stuff... quietly, not wanting to disturb, occasionally opening the closets or drawers whispering.. hello in there - just let me sit at my computer... but now the other stuff is coming and therefore this stuff needs to go.

And it is with this task that I stand before you, OH DESK. Help me. Giant universe filled with lots of other stuff-- as my pitch pierces my own ears... And, does anyone have a blindfold? Because I'm getting all teary-eyed having just found an awesome pen and I can't watch. How do you throw it away? Do you want it? Maybe I'll place an ad - "Stuff, in need of a good home. Will work with other stuff." Or maybe I'll just put it all back and pile more stuff on top... or maybe, just maybe...

In other news today... and before I drown myself in projects circa 1995, Aiming Low is repeating this post today. You can either read it here - or you can go there.. Heck, you can read it in both places if you'd like... because the season for repeats is looming upon and, although I have brown hair and she has the same glasses as me, I am not Tina Fey (shocker) and therefore don't get paid residuals. Just put the hate down. 

I guess the time has come for reality to finally hit the Hamptons. I mean really. Those of us that live here know how tough it can be... I mean just now I had to lift a finger. I was thinking yesterday about how what we need is a serious reality check. Out here, sitting in the Atlantic Ocean -- just a barrier for the Connecticut coastline... the tip of the sandbar, if you will. Not unlike the beacon  of light that shoots from the Vegas skyline... And then, as it comes to pass--and before I get all existential...because it is Groundhog Day... starring Bill Murray, and I'm in no mood for chitchat--The Jersey Shore is thinking about paying us a visit.

I know.
I didn't know who they were either until I decided to roll off my pedestal and get a clue.

Because I know the Jersey Shore cast members are all REALITY professionals that will treat the Hamptons like their very own stomping ground... Not having watched MTV in a really long time... and then sitting glued with eyes peeled open in mesmerizing awe... Coming to the realization that there is hope for mental dullness.... in a really REAL way.

Yay! February!
January was a doozie, right? Well - time to move on. This month we are trying out a few new things at FTB - including calling it FTB, not to be confused with the notorious OTB but in commonplace with OCD as well as CO'D--Isn't he just dreamy. At any rate. A few new things are happening here at FTB - more reader interviews, more products and more design... yes. more more more. So without hesitation to kick things off, I reached out to my product guru Mari... she's Ma-aaarrrr-va-lous.... sorry, I couldn't help it. Here we go - LET THEM LOOSE!

When Ry asked me to do some regular posts on products it was perfect timing. (She begged, you know, it was pretty sad to see her so desperate for my brilliant expertise and witty posts How could I say no?) I'm a mom and a shopper with no disposable income. So any money I spend tends to go towards my baby birdie. For myself, I've found one of the best ways to get it out of my system is to gather my favorite picks together in an online shopping cart and walk away. All the thrill with none of the regret! Now, I can do that right here. You can look forward to products that are high on individuality, but almost always low on price. Because though I LOVE fine things, and definitely have champagne tastes, I think I'd have a heart attack if I spent $100 on just one thing. This week's binge is courtesy of Etsy.

The Random Five:

1. Forest Wooden Bird Necklace, $10
2. Cherry Kimono Kanzashi Flower Hair Clip, $23
3. Orange Blossom Small Corsage Brooch, $25
4. Lost Lucy Formica Painting, $35
5. Beige Felt Hat with curls, $69

Side note... Ry bought the Orange Blossom Small Corsage Brooch and plans to wear it among her layers of black. But what is one hint of color? Let's watch - she just might implode.

Okay. So today is Wednesday January 27, 2010. I know I ranted a few days ago about things all changing at once but this is ridiculous although I'm feeling less stressed because I think its finally sunk  into my stubborn-never-do-anything-different-or-modify-things-in-an-way-shape-or-form head that nothing is the same, and that's okay. Can anyone out there tell me if something has caused this? Some MOON thing or the tides - or is this the year of the chicken or duck or something? Because it seems like a lifetime ago that things were normal and it's only been a few weeks. And if I could just get an hour at the keyboard to myself then I might be able to retain my sanity because there are four days left in this FORSAKEN MONTH and what else could possibly happen? Because I knew that things would change... but all in a span of four weeks? Here is the run down and I apologize for the repetition:

1. I stopped eating dairy and eggs. I thought I'd try this because Will can't eat dairy or eggs and I wanted to see what would happen. Well, its not that bad, but with the unexpected super fast loss of 5 pounds, one has to worry about what I've done to my body thus far AND none of my clothes fit me -- I'm wearing a bag right now... with a nice belt.
2. The 5 pound loss could also be attributed to the change in dinner routine where we actually sit down by FIVE THIRTY PM as a family to eat instead of waiting for Will to go to bed and then make dinner by  - oh 10:00.
   
3. We started working on THE HOUSE. Which is great but now I'm obsessed with decor and finding it hard to concentrate on most other things including WORK.
   
4. Not concentrating on work is okay since I am a killer procrastinator and started another blog AND was just relieved of my office lease-- which I had another 6 months on. So now I can run free through the meadow in my bag and nice belt, finally CLOSE THE COMPANY and become an Independent Creative Consultant (again).
   
5. Closing the company is actually a huge relief because its been the bane of my existence since co-founding it with that boob half-wit of an ex-business partner. Then there were those people at that magazine which made life just so unnecessarily annoying. Then there were all those other clients that couldn't/wouldn't pay for requested work and others that stole design ideas and found cheaper firms to produce. And then let us not forget the disgruntled employees, disappearing programmers and the freelancers that borrowed things from the office. I did, however, have the opportunity to work on amazing projects with a few amazing people -- but once the economy stopped cooperating and throwing money at us, the daily stress of operation was overwhelming.
   
6. Being an Independent (again) is also a good thing because the nap that moved from the morning to afternoon two weeks ago is now OVER. As I just now say "go lay down" again to the head peeking around the corner as I type this as fast as possible. Because this morning he jumped out of his crib at 6 am. It scared all of us but I got him to lay down again -- only to have him acrobatically leap out again with the grace of a gazelle and land on his feet less than five minutes later. And, after modifying his crib so that he won't break his neck, nap time has turned into a game of "see how many times Mom will tell me to go lay down before she admits that this isn't working and the nap is over". Bedtime will be interesting.
7. I suppose this game of not napping isn't as bad as the DON'T SAY THAT game where he says "f'ing idiot" and I say "DON'T say that" which only results in him saying it like 18 more times with a huge smile on his face. I'm so looking forward to him starting preschool next week so that he can play this with a complete stranger that won't judge me AT ALL. Then there's the whole potty thing which he decided he wanted to try. Damn this PARENT THING IS HARD. And now he's in the hallway rocking chair singing it with pride.

So, given that there are four more days of January, and my sanity is being held up by a thin strand of the ability to laugh at myself in humbling situations. I can only look forward to February where the seas will part, money floweth free and the sanctity of WHAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN NEXT will remain a game  of "Go Lay Down". Right?

I was leaving the grocery store today when a fleet of angry carts rolled through the parking lot and launched an attack. It was raining and super windy and who knows why they selected me -- seeing how I parked my misanthropic beast of an SUV a million miles from the store. Regardless, they rolled with fury and as I lifted Will into his car seat I stepped right into a massive puddle... I could feel them pressing their metal up against my back so after locking the boy in place I turned and glared for them to retreat... My feet soaking in grocery store parking lot muck -- they taunted me by spinning their wheels so I yelled - - I KNOW! I KNOW I NEVER THANKED MY READERS FOR ALL THE LOVE! And, having admitted this, they started to back-off... while I, in turn, wet--cold and defeated, drove out of the parking lot in ultimate stealth mode... only to catch them eyeing my exit. 

And it is with great pleasure that I thank the following for recognizing me and all of my aimless internet babble:

Dufmanno: Thank you for the "I Heart Your Blog" award. I'll meet you in 1986 where we can shimmy to Two of Hearts in all of our Stacey Q glory. Then we can play The Police's "MOTHER" backwards and find the real meaning behind the reason... in the dark. 

Lagunatic: Thank you for the "Honest Scrap" award. I'll meet you at Easter with a basket of chocolate eggs. Because chicken embryos are off limits. Sistah. Then we can bore ourselves to death by thanking each other over and over again until we get angry and have a cat fight because we were being all too polite to begin with.

and...

Dear Vapid: Thank you for the "I Heart Your Blog" award. Honestly, when we meet I hope that we don't worry others around us too much with endless obscenities and giggling. Nonstop spasmodic giggling. I'm giggling right now. And you are too. Stop. STOP. At least we will be wearing capes.

So that's it for now. And now I'm weepy from the love. Did I mention that I love you? ALL of you? Even the ones out there that completely ignore me. And then read my blog. The ones that send me mean emails. And then read my blog. The ones that get super annoyed with me on an almost daily basis. And then read my blog... and then read my other blog. blog blog blog blog.

It all used to be so easy... if I didn't want to go, I wouldn't. If I wanted to go, sometimes I still wouldn't. I guess that's the problem with being a pseudo-introvert... That writes a very public account of everything--hypocrisy is SO much fun.

But today is Saturday, so no one is reading this, right? I can just sneak this in and whisper softly... because nothing has changed.

And I'm just using this visual because Sting called me and told me to write about my insecurity issues.

It remains the same.. if I have a meeting, I wait until the very last second thinking about how much I don't want to go even though it will be painless and probably result in good things... How I am invited to parties and events and asked to be in on important causes... and I don't participate and/or attend even though I want to and plan on it. How I am rather well connected but refuse to admit it. It isn't unlike 13 years ago (dear god!) in college when I adopted the mantra of "Just Don't Go" and would suggest it to friends... like it was THAT easy. You don't want to go, so don't. It was all very freeing and simple... Just Don't Go. I remember thinking it when I was about to walk down the aisle... when I went into labor with Will, when all of the great things that have happened to me occurred... And look at me now.. I am already climbing over the fence... Running away... Hiding under my dining room table... In other words, I just bought my tickets to Blogher 2010, which is in August. And the fact that I just spent actual dollars might be the only thing that pushes me through the door. That and the idea of meeting some of you... FACE TO FACE. EYES TO EYES. So... if you are going... and you happen to glance out windows of the NYC Hilton and you see someone outside pasted up against the glass --  just leave me there and note that I went, but I didn't at the same time. Let the games begin.