September 2009 Archives

Like this ad. Now – go out, buy vodka and do something differently.

It has been a really long time since a print ad impressed me.

Okay, okay — I get it. I sat down to start writing and have come to the realization that everything I have to say sounds like a complaint. I sound like a big loser whining about popular culture, design aesthetics, the movie I watched last night, the General Electric guy that left my ENTIRE house smelling like cigs and BO. Why is it that every fix-it man and contractor asks to use our bathroom? What about the house they were at before ours? Then, there is the client that hired me to design something and then took it upon herself to DO IT HERSELF — she probably spent hours on it. Was I not doing it correctly? At least Will is napping – I have that to be grateful for. Happy that the giant Christmas blow up snow-globe with lights and snowmen with green and red holiday hats at BJ’s didn’t scar him for life yesterday afternoon… Just 2 aisles from the giant kettle stirring green witch sitting on a massive blow up Halloween pumpkin, mind you. The weirdos are out during the day on Mondays at BJs – FYI, stick to shopping on the weekends with the crowds.

No – I thought I had plenty to write about today, but it’s all negative and annoying. Like… Mackenzie Phillips and couples that have eight babies, exploit the hell out of them, look around and realize that not enough people are paying attention, so then proceed to bash the hell out of each other all in the name of reality tv fame. Or the new Dinosaur show on PBS that features a T-Rex orphan adopted by a Pteranodon family that rides a supernatural train through the various periods of pre-historia. Dudes. COME ON! Kids might love trains, and they might love dinosaurs, but WHAT? Not only is this show most certainly on CRACK, but what happens when the preschoolers face reality? That the T-REX will EAT his entire adoptive family someday…. Someday SOON!

So, there it is–the few items all meshed into one super annoying post. At least I didn’t drag it out and write about each individual item like I was planning. I’m off to find air-fresheners–lighten it up a little bit.. or maybe, just light it all on fire.

Oh – comments are working again–so go on with your bad self. Yeah, that means you Jazz Hands, bring it.
 

Our commenting tool seems to be suffering from some sort of quarter life crisis… Thank you to all that emailed/tweeted me both in peace and in fury over the situation… We are mending and should be better soon.  

We are also aware that some images from our older posts have disappeared. Well, the move from Typepad to Movable Type was smooth, but the box with the old images must have bounced from the truck bed and we are retracing our steps to recover.

As always, thank you for your patience. Please hold your thoughts.

But we can certainly lust and drool over the things we can’t have. In the immortal words of Luke, “I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi like my father.” It has been my experience that if I think about it enough–drive myself insane and then think about it some more… sometimes those things that you thought you couldn’t have somehow appear with your name on them. Let the obsessions begin…

This bookcase (originally mentioned by coochicoos) by Shawn Soh.

This (or any) painting by Amy Casey – I wrote about her work @ Artistic Things a few weeks back… TOTALLY obsessed with her work.

This Rocco Pyrite Ring that I twittered about last week. Fit for a superhero (like me). This ring could double as a serious weapon..

A lovely day, thanks to the Southampton Historical Museum… I agree with you Hayden, a little wine sipping would have been great… Hint hint vineyards of the Long Island New York North & South forks… hint hint indeed.

Continue Reading Southampton Harvest Festival…

In the Hamptons, they make the sex-offenders stay west of the Shinnecock Canal. There, I said it. Do you think this is discriminatory? If so tough cookies. Yeah, I said TOUGH COOKIES. And, according to today’s news — they are thinking of moving “them” even further west– out of the Hamptons completely. I ordinarily wouldn’t bring up such a scary horrible topic, but the land mass that makes up the Eastern End of Long Island is increasingly populated and super thin, and made of sand. Just sand and pine trees. Pine trees that make up crazy unbelievable Pine Barrens. Pine Barrens that catch on fire. Pine Barrens that are so thick that it takes a few days for people to realize that they are on fire. Pine Barrens where the bodies will never be found. And they are viral. I could go into my back yard with a bucket of sand, pour it out and place a pine cone in it–Give it a few weeks, and boom…my very own Pine Barren. But I have better things to do with my time– like worry about the increasing number of sex-offenders that live down the street from my family. Maybe Royal Pains could do an episode about that? Brilliant. Then maybe the rest of the universe will realize that the Hamptons are just like everywhere else in America–polka dotted with clusters of shunned criminals in need of and not getting serious help. Oh but wait, healthcare for everyone will solve this problem too, right? Thank God Super Grover is on the way.

I can feel you frowning. I know this is an odd way to re-introduce For the Birds to the internet, but I just wanted to make the point of the matter ahead of the game. I live in the Hamptons — and life here is undoubtedly weird, but isn’t it where you live too? This website covers a few things. Me, because I am who I am; Graphic Design, because its something that I know all about; Breakwater Design, because it is the bain of my current existence; And my family. Almost Daily Observations on life in general. So, when I was notified a few weeks back about the number of “visitors” that had been reading this site, I did two things… I laughed really hard, because I mean seriously–MY FOOT do people care. And then I sought some real advice. What now?

After finding said advice, it was made clear to me that For the Birds wasn’t doing anything. It was just sitting there. It wasn’t easy to find. It wasn’t “searchable” AND it was never going to be unless I made some serious changes. And so, aside from the fact that THOUSANDS of people found us, it was brought to my attention that there are MORE PEOPLE OUT THERE. Oxygen, I need oxygen… It wasn’t easy – it was quite painful to sort through the gears and wiring… but when I came up for air it was looking good. Then, after a few short pricks of Botox, it all came together…and here it is. What do you think?

PS. To Pavel at Firmdot–Thank you. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for letting me yell at you (sorry..again). And Thank you for all of the great work! You are my new Batman. (and Robin too!). If I had your mailing address I’d send you an edible bouquet.

A few weeks ago For the Birds celebrated it’s one year mark — picture me sitting at the keyboard with a party hat on….vodka bottle rolling on the floor…  silly string still stuck to the monitor.. I mentioned in my post that FTB has built a following with over 20,000 site visitors. This is a rough estimate, because  — come on, really. You don’t think that I actually believe that 20,000+ of you are out there reading these almost daily observations… And thanks to all of the lovely comments that I received pointing this out. Side note, I am not that BOARING Ms. Kelly from Kentucky — and although you don’t know how to spell, I might have better things to do with my time but I choose to do this — and if it’s just not that interesting to you — then STOP visiting. But, keep checking in if you must, I am into all things that depreciate. 

So, getting to the point, I do know — thanks to those smart heads over at Feed Burner, that we do have a factual regular readership of 25 concrete, real-live people. That’s right – a lovely and lucky 25. And to you I am calling out. In the next few days the following will be happening:

1. For the Birds will turn out the lights for a much needed beauty rest.
2. For the Birds will return, refreshed and better than ever–but only viewable at the new (still shiny) URL – http://forthebirdsblog.com
3. The old ugly domain http://designsigh.typepad.com/forthebirds will GO AWAY, so DON’T GO THERE
4. Those of you that have the old domain/URL in your readers, you will need to change to the new domain.
5. For the Birds will only be accessible from http://forthebirdsblog.com
6. This has very little to do with the evil birders over at forthebirds.com 

Unfortunately, I don’t have specific timing on this event–otherwise I would fill you in. But the wheels are in motion. We’ve checked the logs, Batman, and will make a swift return… So, if you happen to be settling in for the evening, and pull up to FTB for some mild entertainment, please don’t be alarmed if you receive some sort of error message or blank screen–We are still here… we are coming back–this has very little to do with the evil birders at forthebirds.com AND, the best is yet to come… More shameless self-promotion of multiple personality abundance -  I want you to know but I don’t anxiety disorder…  have I mentioned most of us here are geminis? Any questions? Email me – rmsatbwdstudiodotcom.

It’s all changing way too fast around here.

Last week I took a look at Will and thought MY GOD, he’s huge! I swear that during the night he grew about 2 inches. Suddenly he was reaching up to turn the faucet on… Suddenly he is making up his own mind–From out of nowhere deciding that nap time–The regular every day 3 hour-plus nap was not for him anymore.. He’s sleeping now (10:41am) so his body and mind are at odds…Yes, definitely my son.  

He’s talking now, or should I say YELLING. Says Hi-BLUUUUUUE when the Bluedog saunters into the room… Dad. Mom. MOOOOM.. BYEEEEE-eeeeee… And everything is hot – he hovers his hand over objects before touching, looks at me and questions… Haute? Guests that have been around — he calls out to them… KAAAAAATTTEEEE KAAAATTTEEE — Anneeeeee–and the infamous, My & G. He couldn’t care less if I use the hair-dryer–an act that used to cause devastating results, what was I thinking.

He’s beginning to get it. Yesterday I suddenly had the opportunity to design a logo. I looked at Will, who was starting to vibrate due to being in-doors via inclement weather. I said, under my breathe–mostly speaking to myself, “Will I just need to sit at the table to get this done, are you going to let me?”.. Glancing in my direction, I sensed that he was annoyed by my suggesting that he would object. He pulled himself from the pile of toys he had been mildly entertained with, picked up his pad of paper, walked to the table and put his hands  in the air for me to lift him into his seat. Once I had peeled myself from the floor I decided to let him try out some watercolors. I sat next to him and the work began.

Is it too soon to talk to him about controlling the internal artistic angst that comes with being creative, or do you think he knows already?

I hate that I write lists obsessively (in a series of notebooks that all look alike) but they never seem to make it to the typepad. Here's a taste of randomness that I've been hocking over at Google Reader… There's never enough time in the day…

• The Hygiene Hypothesis… not accurate (shocker)…
• Misszoot might just punch someone…. 
• Need help reading, writing, eating or drawing while you DRIVE? Here's a desktop... This could take texting accidents to a whole new level.. (note the awesome disclaimer)
• The highest rate of nose jobs?? That's right perfect noses in IRAN… I suppose since everything else is SHROUDED.
• Slumping in Dubai… what wouldn't we do to do Dubai (now taking sponsors)
• THIS JUST IN – food allergies can be dangerous. Thanks, Brain Surgeons @ Grand Rapids Press…
• Generation A
• Decorative Brilliance
• A Grand Slam with Mushrooms… Even if you don't like them…
• Laura Ashley on Crack
• Unattended Children Will (and should) be shot…
• Cool Bird Prints (going to this show soon!)
• David the Designer (I'm probably scaring this man)
• AND of course… blah blah blah follow me on Twitter and read my posts @ Artistic Things..Check back randomly—I promise more random lists and almost daily observations.. yadda yadda yadda.

Just in case you knew, marked your calendar but forgot anyway… A very much anticipated return to prime time will be occurring very soon. Armed with the evil fighting, suicide stopping, librarianesche do-gooder of a hot veterinarian background, our very own C to the O to the D will (again) join the ranks of talents such as Gary Sinise, James Spader and other "Movies are great but Television is Money" actors.. That's right. On September 22nd, brace yourselves as Chris(topher) O'Donnell runs screaming into your dens and TV rooms–Not stopping until he has completely facified his new-born five o'clock shadow with your screen. Staring as leading man, "G"– perhaps for "gentle", "giant", or "ginormous"… Trust me, no stone will be left unturned in the promise of entertaining you with this one as the O'D acts like he's never acted before. NCIS Los Angeles, with your latin-american flair, come as you will. Oh, and BTW… the new and improved anti-porn LL Cool J stars as wingman… Around the Way Girl, now I know you're hooked. (CBS 9/8c).

Cool as a cucumber, CO'D, this one's for you.