I was leaving the grocery store today when a fleet of angry carts rolled through the parking lot and launched an attack. It was raining and super windy and who knows why they selected me — seeing how I parked my misanthropic beast of an SUV a million miles from the store. Regardless, they rolled with fury and as I lifted Will into his car seat I stepped right into a massive puddle… I could feel them pressing their metal up against my back so after locking the boy in place I turned and glared for them to retreat… My feet soaking in grocery store parking lot muck — they taunted me by spinning their wheels so I yelled – - I KNOW! I KNOW I NEVER THANKED MY READERS FOR ALL THE LOVE! And, having admitted this, they started to back-off… while I, in turn, wet–cold and defeated, drove out of the parking lot in ultimate stealth mode… only to catch them eyeing my exit.
And it is with great pleasure that I thank the following for recognizing me and all of my aimless internet babble:
Dufmanno: Thank you for the “I Heart Your Blog” award. I’ll meet you in 1986 where we can shimmy to Two of Hearts in all of our Stacey Q glory. Then we can play The Police’s “MOTHER” backwards and find the real meaning behind the reason… in the dark.
Lagunatic: Thank you for the “Honest Scrap” award. I’ll meet you at Easter with a basket of chocolate eggs. Because chicken embryos are off limits. Sistah. Then we can bore ourselves to death by thanking each other over and over again until we get angry and have a cat fight because we were being all too polite to begin with.
and…
Dear Vapid: Thank you for the “I Heart Your Blog” award. Honestly, when we meet I hope that we don’t worry others around us too much with endless obscenities and giggling. Nonstop spasmodic giggling. I’m giggling right now. And you are too. Stop. STOP. At least we will be wearing capes.
So that’s it for now. And now I’m weepy from the love. Did I mention that I love you? ALL of you? Even the ones out there that completely ignore me. And then read my blog. The ones that send me mean emails. And then read my blog. The ones that get super annoyed with me on an almost daily basis. And then read my blog… and then read my other blog. blog blog blog blog.
Have you been drinking already? Cause I have and I just want to say I love you tooooooo!Absolutely giggling my pants off..oops. I should really put those back on, I am at work. Nice, drunk and pantless at work on a Monday afternoon. When am I going to be relieved of my responsibilities here anyway?
You had me at Easter because I knew your next words would be ‘chocolate eggs’.In the words of A Vapid Blonde I love you tooooooo!(I didn’t count the ‘o’s so I couldn’t use quotation marks)I’m also giggling..and oddly glowing. That might be from the hot dog I nuked for lunch though.I think I’m going to go giggle so more – but over here..I’m sick of always being contagious.(Thanks for the thanks <3)
…and we’ll be able to say we read you when….
Nobody is ignoring you. I loved “My very own award show.” I think this is your best tone. And, did you read “The Cursing Mommy” column in the New Yorker a couple of weeks ago?
I did not read it – which issue is it in? Thanks for the comment!