Another trip North, but we think we’re actually getting somewhere.
I mentioned previously in part I & part II what life is like around our little house project, but let me say it again.. The people that live in the area — down the street, around the corner and in neighboring towns are among the nicest, most interesting and generally pleasing individuals that I have yet to come across in my vast expansive life… Even that guy walking down main street with the machete, he’s super cool — just looking to help someone with their hedge.
I think we had been in the house for about 10 minutes during this visit when Aunt Jane popped in to tell us she had left her coffee brew on just in case we needed a perk… She lives just a few doors down, and even though she was heading out to work at a local flower shop, we were welcome to ‘help ourselves’… just don’t let the cat out. And if we hadn’t had a blueberry waffle extravaganza a few short hours earlier… we might just have taken her up on her offer… Because not only was I drooling over the overwhelming friendliness of the whole situation, but I was also about to do something completely and totally beyond the boundaries of who I am. A Vapid Blonde was coming over.
I know.
Hold on.
WAIT JUST A MINUTE.
Yes. For Real. And if I were inclined to be 10 years younger… FOR REALZZZZZ.
And I mean for real. Like in real life.. As in pinch your arm — real. Like internet real, but not… instead real life real. Like right there.. parking her bad-ass Corvette in front of my house.. walking up my walk and giving me a hug. Real. And, not only that, she brought me this:
Just exasperating the essence of cool. Just testing the limits of being calm, cool and collected. Madonna. Jackie-O. Joan Jett. Martha. Vapid’s got the game on you. And despite what the tabloids say… I really didn’t grab her for a PG-13 make-out session…. But obviously, the thought crossed my mind… COME ON PEOPLE, this is ME you’re talking to.
A Vapid Blonde came over to my house and it was fabulous… And after I stuttered through the conversations of only a few seconds of awkward “OH MY GAWD, SHE’S HERE” silent moments. I hope that she saw through the layers of house dust and sweat to see that I’m not that much of a geek… despite my sneakers and inability to control bursts of nervous laughter… I offered her a beer, she accepted, and the rest is within the walls of Native American Dorian Grey… who might just never tell.
But on with the show…
Sounds fabulous!! I always love the pictures of the house coming along. Feels like we all get to be a tiny part of it. Not really, since you are the one doing all of the actual work, but still, it’s a little piece of something for us all. wonderful. It’s really great living down here near no one, by the way.
Haa, You are too kind, so very kind. I heard a rumor that the wine may be shit…so I am really sorry if that is the case.Now I am off to look at the pictures. Hopefully you didn’t use the one of me nervously stumbling up the front stairs.
Summabitch! Not only are you renovating a beautiful old house with your very own hands, you also get to drink alcohol with Vapid?!?! I’m so jealous I might turn purple! Argh!
love that house – so much potential! need pics of you and vapid drinking. without me. wtf. still, need pics.
Holy crap, you didn’t just have a Vapid sighting you had a genuine Vapid social visit.I hope you two popped that bottle of wine, clicked on the Syfy channel and watched the original movie “MONGOLIAN DEATH WORM” together.By the way, I like the house so much I’m considering taking up squatting so I can use it when you have your back turned.
that’s the great thing about this new fangeled internet contraption — you’re nearby no matter where you are! I feel like anyone that has an interest is a huge part of the house project… while I’m working I can’t help but wonder what everyone else will think… hopefully we won’t disappoint!
You know… we didn’t take any pictures of this whole historic event. I usually have my camera glued to my hand. Weird.
Please don’t turn any more purple than lilac… we don’t want anyone hurting themselves around here. And — you should see my hands… splintered, cracked, dried blood, torn nails… like a war zone. Warning – the alcohol tastes better around Vapid…
we didn’t take any. I think the Dorian sighting had Vapid a bit worried about spirits stealing her image…
Squat away… hope to have it available for rent by the end of the summer. Well, one can hope anyway. We were all prepped for DEATH WORM when I realized that the cable wasn’t hooked up… That’s okay though because Dorian is sensitive about Mongolians for some reason.
I think you may have torn a hole in the internet vortex when you met a live human from online.The laws of physics and all that other sciencey stuff just got turned upside down because my computer is acting all wonky now.
That was me. I break shit. The end.
Pictures of Vapid sitting on the pink toilet. Where are they?
I had my camera in the car…I thought you might get weirded out if I started taking pictures of the pink toilet! and you..Papa-paparazzi!
if you came in bulldozing with a camera I wouldn’t have been surprised… this is the internet.. anything is possible.
what Elly said.
now I know… things that go thud in the night..
I’d like to say that they are currently being enlarged into billboard size for the BlogHer entryway… but that’s a DAMN LIE.
Neighbors like that you cannot buy with money. Only by the grace of what’s up there. My nephew in Taiwan was able to snatch an apartment under market rate because the neighbors downstairs are extremely hateful. They drove away people who lived downstairs to them before the previous owner of my nephew’s apartment decided that life’s too short to spend dealing with these people. It took a long time but buyers kept on backing out as soon as they learned about or MET those people downstairs.I love the magnolias in front of the house. I feel like I am living through a long episode of “That Old House” only with cooler, and better looking people.
And YOUNGER too, definitely!
(Notice how I didn’t comment on the portal you used to meet with Vapid? ’cause I am a jealous bitch that way. I just pretended that it didn’t happen ’cause I didn’t get to be there. So THERE! *pout*)
Green. That’s all….it’s not easy being green.
NO pouting…just visiting. You come visit me now and us now and just come!
[...] Part I Part II Part III [...]