A few weeks ago I was riding in an elevator with a lovely friend of Asian descent.

She was looking at a brooch that I had pinned to my bag.. having read about it before, she was familiar with it and commented on how easy it would be to recreate the design. I agreed, but then blurted out some serious nonsense about how borrowing the idea from someone was somewhat of a creative conflict… She then laughed and said “Well, I’m Chinese, so I want to mass produce everything…”, which was way funnier at the time… and I guess that you totally had to have been there to appreciate it… but WHATEVER – it wouldn’t hurt to LAUGH, would it? I then realized that I had forgotten something on the 22nd floor, from where we had just left, and she rode back up with me, and down again too. LOVE, people. That is what you CALL IT.

And so, after my many elevator rides with some of my favorite people, and a few days to let the idea of taking the originality of someone else and modifying it to make it my own, I didn’t hesitate. Because it is the middle of August… which, in my world is a haven for boredom… which is basically a rip tide when it comes to doing things just for the hell of it… sweeping you out to sea without a chance to paddle back… grasping for the need to do something… when swimming parallel to the shore is the only thing that can help — and its the last thing you think about. And, yes, we might just be talking about felt, pins and needles… but it could be living proof that the middle of August hates me.

With a mad dash to the nearest craft supply warehouse, suspiciously coined – “Michael’s”, I stood in front of the many color choices…My inner Me shouting – “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH RYAN?!!?”, as I blatantly ignored Myself and started heaving piles of fabric (inexpensively priced at .29 a sheet) into the cart… “I’m Doing this, DAMMIT.”… the words were trailing behind me as I put on blinders through the scrap-booking section where people have been known to disappear forever… Who knows what will happen next! I wouldn’t let myself look at the fake flowers, the bunt cake pans were piled high–singing to me from the decorative baking aisle, and I held strong at the check-out… I will remain true to myself in some sense of the word… but please, get me THE ‘F’ OUT OF HERE! As I left before the hives reached my visible skin…

The brooches were being produced at rapid speeds… making me realize that at about $1.00 of production costs per brooch — I AM GOLDEN. My fingers sewing like never before… cutting tiny petals out of a fabric that once made me cringe. “This is it”, I thought. “This is where I am… Look at it. I am making one for EVERYONE I KNOW. Why didn’t I THINK OF THIS BEFORE?!?! I AM A GODDESS OF CRAFT.” It was around this time that I started to get a creeping sense that a giant ‘L’ was beginning to bubble out from my forehead. Quietly, I put the needle down and started to rethink the situation.

A few days later — okay, YESTERDAY, to be exact (sheesh!). I had a call from another great friend who happens to also be an amazing and very accomplished artist. He called to chat about August, and how nothing is happening because no one is doing anything. Sounding frustrated and tired… it was clear that he too was exhausted from the boredom, and what should he do…  to which I advised — Nothing. Don’t do anything. Because it was during this conversation that I was reminded of my last trip to his studio where we talked about my own artistic direction and when I was going to start doing something… While lately I find myself starting so many things without meaning or thought. Like tiny felt brooches that are now festering all over my house.. happy that they picked me to cozy up with because they just KNOW that I can’t waste anything… Damn those little buggers–that also happen to be super cute and look great on everything.

And with this exasperated attempt to DO SOMETHING out of the way, I now feel like I can move on to bigger and better things… you know, like having a life… Exploring my options on what to do next — Looking for the ever elusive hope of direction while desperately wanting August to end. And while I ask… Please! If you love me… or at the very least like me a little… let me send you a brooch. FREE (!)… and minus all kinds of neurosis.. You’ll be doing me more than a small favor, I promise!