It's not like we didn't expect to get sick. I mean, every other person that we know told us that as soon as Will started school -- WATCH OUT, he was sure to get sick. Right? It's not like we think we're ABOVE it... I mean, not really. And so we knew. We washed hands.... glopped on the sanitizer, took our vitamins. But still, it's been an entire MONTH, and there is no way that anyone could have been prepared for the onslaught that we are just now recovering from. cough.
[ear infection. COUGH. sneezing. COUGH. COUGH. fever. COUGH. HACK. chills. COUGH COUGH COUGH. runny noses. cover your mouth. COUGH COUGH COUGH. germs. medicine. don't pick your nose. doctor's offices. COUGH COUGH COUGH. tissues. blankets. inhalers. NEBULIZER. humidifier. COUGH COUGH COUGH. expectant. chest compression. z-pack. steroids. STEAM. suppressant. COUGH COUGH..... CROUP!!?!?!?!]
You couldn't even come near us we were so disgusting.... I spent several nights just walking around my house coughing -- unable to talk, breathe, eat. It was like someone took my head off, twisted all my airpipes and vocal cords around and then laughed really hard while they attempted to sew it back on. I can't even go into how hard it is to take care of yourself when both of the kids are sick... Will, who starts vibrating after ten minutes of not being able to go outside -- I actually heard myself say "You stay on that couch or I'm (cough cough) going to (cough) TIE YOU TO IT (hack cough hack)!!"... as I swiftly turned around to see who was behind me because there is no way that I just SAID THAT. (cough). Jo woke up one night with the brilliant ability to mimic a barking seal -- and while we ran around in circles while taking hot showers with her and consulting every book/website/pediatrician/nairobianwitchdoctor while holding her until she feel asleep quietly, we came to one glaring conclusion. Parenting sucks. And oh yeah, we hate croup.
We annoyed everyone. Mr. Sal, for one, who happened to NOT GET SICK, has yet to sleep this month. The cashiers at our various haunts were pretty much hiding under counter tops attempting to avoid us and I swear I even saw our pediatrician gag when we walked in for our second visit IN THREE DAYS. Even our evening grazers glared at us with their evil glowing eyes, from 5 feet outside our backdoor.... cough.
But, as things pass (since they usually do) we are almost through it. cough. My swollen glands are more like jellybeans than golf balls, a detail that I know you needed, and both Will and Josephine have become shields to the elements with all of the meds they've taken. A beacon of health we may not be, but as we head into our first snowstorm in OCTOBER, we seem to be on the road to wellness. cough.
In other news... if you're wondering where everyone went on the internet, stop right there and put that crazy down because, YES. They are all over here, at Will's Kitchen. That's right! Our mini-marketing campaign has begun to pay off -- with mini ads now strategically placed over at Sprocket Ink and Mini Munchers as well as a lovely mention by Enjoy Life Foods on Facebook... It also really didn't hurt that we made donuts.
You can stop drooling now.