What's going on. I mean it. REALLY. Where did this come from? Why is it happening now? Don't you know that I have other things to do? Instead the laundry is pacing around complaining about stenches, we've been eating out of the dishwasher, and I'm not completely sure -- but I think the kid went to school naked. Good thing it's warming up fast out there. My husband was questioning my intentions when I realized the new bravado of the situation, becoming the Road Runner itself and exclaiming "MEEP MEEP!!!!", when asked just what exactly I thought I was getting myself into. But this idea, it's a good one.
And I know that because, not only have my group of collective "it's okay, Ryan, go ahead" people agreed that the idea is good (MEEP!), but I also went through all of the major emotional steps to get to where I am today. 1) Fear. I stayed in this place for, oh... I don't know, about five years. It's nice, but the water comes from a well which can turn your hair green. 2) Depression. Staring at my life from an outside perspective and seeing nothing but flaws. It will never work. Nothing ever works. I hate the basement. I miss my jeans. I'm on the other side of 35. 3) Being Downright Mean. I'm taking all of these toys away BECAUSE I WANT TO. "Mom, why are your eyebrows together?...Can I have a juice box" 4) Realization That You Are Full Of Crap. There is nothing wrong. Everything is awesome. You're being selfish. You don't really NEED to have an idea, but it's there if you want... look at it, all shiny and new. It might work. And if it doesn't, look over there at ALL of those TOYS THAT YOU COULD PLAY WITH! MEEP! MEEP! MEEEEEEPPPPP!!!!!! 4) Running Around Like A Crazy Person. Hands shaking. WHERE DO I START!!! Cartwheels (seriously, CARTWHEELS!) MEEP MEEP MEEP...okay that's enough.
So, having gone through these necessary and oddly traumatic steps, I am full blown into the idea. It's all around me. Coming towards me like the Shrieking Eels, but then cuddling next to me and being all "Hey girl, what's up". And I know I have other things to do, but unfortunately, I know my brain. If I don't ACT, I know I'll regret... And I'm all over the multitask, screaming "I NEED A MAILING LIST" while I butcher the chicken. As the one and five year old shake their heads, oh that silly Mom. Needless to say, the idea and I are getting to know each other, and so far, things are going well. MEEP.
