Recently in Nosh Category

In keeping with last week’s post on things I want to accomplish in 2012 — I started reading Savor, by Thich Nhat Hana and Dr. Lilian Cheung.

And, although I have already broken my code of not buying any more new books until I have read all of the ones that currently reside in my house (#1 on the list), I’m really happy that this is the book that I started with. Because, you see, I think I only purchased this book because of it’s beautifully designed cover. That and Amazon’s oh-so clever marketing skills in the “Recommended Items” department. I couldn’t resist. I bet, because you know I don’t even really remember buying this book, that I didn’t really know what it was about at the time of purchase. Yes. I am that easy. And, if I’m not a Buddhist by the time I finish reading this sweet little 237 page paperback, there must be all kinds of things wrong with me, and I already have a somewhat healthy relationship with food. It’s my book buying habit that I’m worried about.

But you see, as it turns out, this is a dieting book. Hidden behind the beautiful language and holistic nuances, the sole purpose of this book’s existence is to help people lose weight, which is something that I might like to do, but I’m not hardcore into needing to lose poundage. What I am into is enjoying the act of eating (#2 on the list). Thinking about the food as I am enjoying it is something that I am also trying to accomplish this year — breathing while I eat. Not allowing the stress of people behaving at dinner time or the baby’s fussiness make me inhale my food as an act of desperation. As if I’m never going to have the opportunity to eat again. It only breeds bad habits and makes it appear to be okay as I shovel toast into my mouth while running out the door. Because being late for Nursery School is totally going to make him miss the bus in another 5 years. Not.

And as I breeze through this lovely book about dieting and having patience with one’s self. I am finding that reading truths that I already know, need some reminding. Who knows — perhaps there’s some additional enjoyment to be found as we relearn how to relax, chew our food and maybe drop a few pounds.

“Mindfulness.
Mindfulness is a way of living that has been practiced over twenty-six hundred years by millions of people to help them transform their suffering into peace and joy. Applying mindfulness to your suffering with weight gives you catalyst that you can draw on at will to change your behavior. Consider mindfulness as your ally to help you get out of your own way, change your habits that are counterproductive, and overcome the obstacles and difficulties that led you to be overweight.” – page 34

Now, if I can only apply this to buying books… Then, maybe I can start to work on #8 from the 2012 list: Not so much spending.

And here we are. A new year.

Fresh. New. Untouched. Unaffected. And oddly — feeling almost exactly like it did last year.

But that’s not reason to worry. Feeling the same as it did less than a week ago isn’t a bad thing, right? We aren’t supposed to run around changing EVERYTHING immediately, right? I mean… I suppose there are freaks people out there that say “I’M CHANGING, DAMMIT” and then, BOOM, everything is different. There’s nothing seemingly wrong with taking our time. Deciding that we want to do something, think about it… patiently… toil over the details while moving in slow motion. Quietly making the necessary adjustments before we LEAP FORWARD into new things. And I know you were picturing a graceful gazelle just now as I said ‘LEAP FORWARD’… because we are talking about the visions in my mind — and you need to see things as I’m seeing them if we are going to embark on anything together — and in no way am I referencing a leap “year”. Because I don’t think I could handle losing one entire day in 2012. No. No empty, invisible, take-away days — because this is going to be the YEAR OF ME. And you’re coming too.

I’m thinking about making some changes, and since these are life long — they do NOT fall into the evil and ever-failing RESOLUTIONS category. And — I’m not just talking about the small stuff, like this is the last Coca Cola I will EVER drink. No. I’m talking about things that would normally fall on a “Life List”, which is something that I have mentioned in “They’re safe easy to clean and do not cause unpleasant buffeting”, (those were the days)… I’m talking about speeding up the process and, for almost the first time ever, TAKING MYSELF SERIOUSLY. Like — No more soda really means NO MORE HIGH FRUCTOSE ANYTHING…. And, while we’re at it, LEARN TO WINDSURF. But there really isn’t a rhyme or reason to any of this. AND I’m going big, at least for me. Way beyond the Ten Its. My attempts to formulate a list of things that I want to accomplish in the next 40-50 years (if I’m lucky) ranges from the absurd — Sleep through the night… to the mundane — Put Christmas away… to the balls out impossible — DO SOMETHING BIGger than before (I’m open for suggestions). So, I’m speeding it up and giving myself 365 days — although I’ve already lost 4 in the planning stage. So, starting NOW. Okay. After I finish this coke.

And I know. YEAR OF ME, sounds kind of selfish and completely unoriginal. And I totally agree. I completely ripped the idea off from The Summer of George on a Seinfeld rerun the other night. Only — as we all know, the Summer of George was a failed endeavor which saw Mr. Costanza in rehabilitation to regain his ability to walk. I know. NOT FUNNY. But it totally was. Even after watching it for the 40,000th time. His only mistake was that he attempted to do it all alone. Of which, I would never do. Because, yes. I love you too.

And so… as I need to get going on a few things. I am starting the list right now. Please note that this list will change — grow and hopefully shrink with cross-outs as I SUCCEED AT EVERYTHING I TRY. Also, please note that from the boring to the laugh your ass off NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN items all fall in no particular order. Because, that, my friends is life.

• Read all the books in my house before buying new ones
• Quit High Fructose Everything
• Breathe while eating and enjoy every bite
• Walks
• Share a picture everyday
• Teach Will to read
• Teach Jo to walk AND talk
• Not so much spending
• Learn to Windsurf
• Redesign this Blog
• Travel with the Kids
• Relearn CPR
• More NYC
• Go fishing
• Will’s Kitchen, the book
• Bronx Zoo
• Write a Screenplay
• Find the right babysitter (and hire her/him)
• Find my Medium
• Garden. For real.
• Go to the Openings
• Turn conversational Spanish into fluent
• Make edible egg free pasta
• Meet Martha
• Get Jo to sleep in her own bed
• Take more pictures
• Find the right, regular, paying gig

I’m alone currently. No really — Mr. Sal is in the city and both of my children are apparently sleeping. I say apparently because, really — who knows. And when my husband complained about having to spend the evening among adults at some fabulous dinner for business, I imagined myself inhaling a self-rolled ciggy, exhaling while speaking in a British accent “I cannot imagine anything more exhilarating (emphasis on the ‘EXXXHHHHIL‘) than a trip to the city”…. which is a scene that I totally ripped from the Virginia Wolf thriller of a movie, The Hours…. Starring Nicole Kidman…. Regarding several decades of women that seem to be going through unbelievable bouts of self-exploration… which is a nicer way of saying ‘depression’. And, although I am not depressed, or anywhere near the idea of going through a ’bout’ of anything — I do have to say that it’s getting harder and harder for me to remember what it was like to not have kids. To be able to just go. Just decide to do something and then do it….ALONE. ALOOOONE… And, considering this is the second time I’ve been alone in 2011, and most likely the last — what better time to run wild with abandon and go — GO — on 2011. On the other hand, it may have been a mistake to leave me alone, and this glass of wine is delicious…. I’ll wait until morning before I publish this.

Because 2011,
CHANGED MY LIFE.
AGAIN.
(sorry, that was loud. and this post is rather long.)

In 2011, we had a 2nd baby. We had a 2nd baby just when the first baby, now 4 years old, seemed well on his way to independence. And when I think about the dramatic and early entrance that Josephine made into our lives, paired with her current ability to get pretty much anything she wants — at 7.5 months old, it’s hard not to predict that we are in it for a lifetime. And again, NOT TO WORRY, when I say ‘in it’, I am of course referring to the bliss and unbridled happiness that comes with being Josephine’s Mom. The smiles. The heart-melting coos and squeals that make up for the refusal to sleep in her own bed. Or how she spits the baby food back out at you and then laughs at your reaction. But that’s okay, as you wipe the spring vegetable surprise from your face, just LOOK at how cute she is covered in puree…. and whatever, you can just forget about your hair — you aren’t going anywhere anyway.

But I know, having just done this for the past 4 years. This time is fleeting. It really is hard to believe that she’s 7.5 months old and that Will just completed his first semester of preschool. I mean… remember back when he was two and he quit napping and I thought my life was over? I mean… it really was over, but the realization was astounding… WHAT DO YOU MEAN I don’t have time to myself anymore? That I had to put my design ‘career’ (I know, don’t laugh) on hold, sit on the floor and PLAY? I mean REALLY. I’M EDUCATED — and LOOK, now I’m playing TRUCKS? But then it stopped. He did what most do and started playing BY HIMSELF. And then I was sad, alone… sitting on the floor with my trucks (not really). And now Jo — as demanding and irresistible a baby as there ever was…. tomorrow she’ll be kicking me out of her room and demanding to pierce something.

And, I know. I’m going to get to all of the other things that happened in 2011 — I’m just taking my time because I’m still alone. That, and I just can’t get over how pleased I am with everything in my life these days. The fun little boy I have. The food allergies that he seems to be growing out of (!) paired with his need to wear a fire helmet to the grocery store. The sweetest little girl I could have ever imagined — it’s even cute when she’s slapping my face and ripping my earrings out. I’ve even been working on a few design projects that seem to be moving along nicely, and I’m happy to report that things are calm both on the friend and family fronts.

All in all, while tooting my own horn from atop the highest pedestal, 2011 was a really good year all-around.

January… My sister Annie was married to her longtime love, Rob… Which led to a reunion of sorts in seeing friends and family that I haven’t seen in years, some of which read this bloggedy blog and therefore knew way more than I did about myself…. Later, I started reading an absurd amount of anything I could get my hands on, books – magazines, newspapers, a MANUSCRIPT written by a brilliantly talented individual that also had a baby in 2011… January was also the month when I started having Braxton Hicks otherwise known as false and not funny contractions even though I wasn’t due until the end of May. Good Times.

February found Mr. Sal and I returning to Portsmouth, NH where I took this picture whist Braxton Hicking all over New England:

I may never understand why I love this picture so much other than the fact that I was a giant pregnant lady salivating over the whole idea behind this window.

Nothing happened in March.
NOTHING.
Oh come on. It’s not like I was sitting on my hands or anything, although I was waiting for something to happen. Really, nothing happened and honestly, your bravado is rather rude.
FINE. Go see for YOURSELF.

April was one of the scariest months of my ENTIRE LIFE, although it started and ended with a blessing. I kicked the month off by opening the front section of the New York Times to see a 1937 picture of my long-passed Grandaddy on page A12 (with the crooked hat). This was a HUGE surprise and one that I will never forget… It made me feel individual and incognito all at the same time…. Here was this image of a man that all but a hand-full of us recognized thus giving the paper that day an entire different meaning than anyone in the world expected it to. And while there are pictures of people in newspapers everyday, this was a once in a hundred million lives, lifetime treat.

April was going to be a great month.

It was, however, only a few weeks into the month that Josephine decided to start her attempts of escaping from my belly — one of which found me in the hospital under the guise of false appendicitis. Her Alcatraz-like plan was foiled however, mostly due in part by the numerous prayers that were heard by the powers that be. But she didn’t hesitate to try again and five weeks before her due date, Josephine Dwyer was born. After a quick incubation, she arrived home healthy and happy — that is just as long as you are doing exactly what she wants you to. April was also the month when I read a book by Sammy Hagar (hangs head in shame) in approximately 2.5 hours — an amount of time that I will always regret losing…

The rest of the year has been a bit of a sleepless/timeless/listless haze filled with the closeness of growing and playtimes. There have been moments when I stop, clear my head and listen to the news or something, but for the most part I have been in an 8 month hibernation as a full time Mom. Two kids, as I am discovering, is intense. Beyond the trip that I thought I was signing up for, but also filled with an extraordinary balance and calm. Trying to make time for myself has proved to be near impossible, but when I feel the pull and struggle to do more, I come back around. This time is precious and I’d rather be here, experiencing the lives of my kids…. A pedicure would be nice though.

And, to just sum up the rest of the year, because OMG – I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE STILL READING THIS!
June – …the must in the air was a really choice herb…
July – …SOYLENT GREEN, SOYLENT GREEN…
August – …They don’t hate you…
September – …EVACUATION...
October – …Allergy kids and Lepers having so much in common…
November – …let’s all damn the man by smelling really bad…
And, December, Well. We’re here, aren’t we?

So, while not everything that happened in 2011 contributed to the life-changing handle that I’ve given it, the few things that did happen were quite large. [abundant, ample, barn door, blimp, booming, broad, bulky, capacious, colossal, comprehensive, considerable, copious, enormous, excessive, exorbitant, extensive, extravagant, full, generous, giant, gigantic, goodly, grand, grandiose, great, gross, hefty, huge, humongous, immeasurable, immense, jumbo, liberal, massive, monumental, mountainous, plentiful, populous, roomy, sizable, spacious, stupendous, substantial, super, sweeping, thumping, tidy, vast, voluminous, whopping, wide]. It’s amazing how two tiny people can pack such a punch.

And in ending, Merry Christmas my Friends — Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice, Bodhi Day, Boxing Day, Hogmanay, Koleda, and Festivus, etc. Happy New Year. I will see you when things are fresh and new, 2012!

That’s the way the holidays start…

And I can hear the song playing off of my parents record player as my Mom, sisters and I made sugar cookies every Christmas — ending with Goodie, Goodie, Yum, Yum, Yum… A not so typical holiday song from the 1950s — and ever so eclectic when being played on vinyl…. (QUICK, click here to taste the yumminess).

In other news, Madonna is playing in the super bowl, Gingrich is AHEAD and Trump is moderating. Anyone else confused?

Roasted Yumminess. That is all.

It’s not like we didn’t expect to get sick. I mean, every other person that we know told us that as soon as Will started school — WATCH OUT, he was sure to get sick. Right? It’s not like we think we’re ABOVE it… I mean, not really. And so we knew. We washed hands…. glopped on the sanitizer, took our vitamins. But still, it’s been an entire MONTH, and there is no way that anyone could have been prepared for the onslaught that we are just now recovering from. cough.

[ear infection. COUGH. sneezing. COUGH. COUGH. fever. COUGH. HACK. chills. COUGH COUGH COUGH. runny noses. cover your mouth. COUGH COUGH COUGH. germs. medicine. don't pick your nose. doctor's offices. COUGH COUGH COUGH. tissues. blankets. inhalers. NEBULIZER. humidifier. COUGH COUGH COUGH. expectant. chest compression. z-pack. steroids. STEAM. suppressant. COUGH COUGH..... CROUP!!?!?!?!]

You couldn’t even come near us we were so disgusting…. I spent several nights just walking around my house coughing — unable to talk, breathe, eat. It was like someone took my head off, twisted all my airpipes and vocal cords around and then laughed really hard while they attempted to sew it back on. I can’t even go into how hard it is to take care of yourself when both of the kids are sick… Will, who starts vibrating after ten minutes of not being able to go outside — I actually heard myself say “You stay on that couch or I’m (cough cough) going to (cough) TIE YOU TO IT (hack cough hack)!!”… as I swiftly turned around to see who was behind me because there is no way that I just SAID THAT. (cough). Jo woke up one night with the brilliant ability to mimic a barking seal — and while we ran around in circles while taking hot showers with her and consulting every book/website/pediatrician/nairobianwitchdoctor while holding her until she feel asleep quietly, we came to one glaring conclusion. Parenting sucks. And oh yeah, we hate croup.

We annoyed everyone. Mr. Sal, for one, who happened to NOT GET SICK, has yet to sleep this month. The cashiers at our various haunts were pretty much hiding under counter tops attempting to avoid us and I swear I even saw our pediatrician gag when we walked in for our second visit IN THREE DAYS. Even our evening grazers glared at us with their evil glowing eyes, from 5 feet outside our backdoor…. cough.

But, as things pass (since they usually do) we are almost through it. cough. My swollen glands are more like jellybeans than golf balls, a detail that I know you needed, and both Will and Josephine have become shields to the elements with all of the meds they’ve taken. A beacon of health we may not be, but as we head into our first snowstorm in OCTOBER, we seem to be on the road to wellness. cough.

In other news… if you’re wondering where everyone went on the internet, stop right there and put that crazy down because, YES. They are all over here, at Will’s Kitchen. That’s right! Our mini-marketing campaign has begun to pay off — with mini ads now strategically placed over at Sprocket Ink and Mini Munchers as well as a lovely mention by Enjoy Life Foods on Facebook… It also really didn’t hurt that we made donuts.

You can stop drooling now.

I’m sitting here at my desk being all uppity because my son has food allergies.

RIGHT?

Because I know everything. AND, I’m not being sarcastic… AT ALL. Not here – Not there… Not anywhere… Okay, a little too much Cat in the Hat, but you know what I mean. By the way, I am being totally sarcastic…Because some people just don’t get it.

It all started a few weeks ago when I came to the realization that if I want Will’s Kitchen to actually achieve anything in the world of food allergy awareness, that I was going to have to get off my tuckus and actually tell someone about the website. I know. Because apparently, if you don’t tell people about it, they simply WON’T KNOW. And yes. Apparently I just used the word tuckus.

So I did what any marketing trained mind would do. I turned to Mr. Sal and told him I needed an operating budget of no less than 20K to hit the ground running…. Bombarding him after a hard day’s work, with charts and graphs and media calendars combined with returns and percentages of success. He was suspect when I excused myself from the dinner table to change into business-wear and sexy heels — because that’s when you know you mean business…It may have worked better if had gone the extra mile and showered… but then again, I don’t think he enjoyed snarfing that first martini sip when he heard the bottom line, so no water wasted. Perhaps I should have waited until sip number six.What?

At any rate, my attempts to achieve my first major investor failed. Shocking, I know. So off I went a-packin out into the wild, wild wonders of the interweb with my anti-food allergy flag held high in an attempt to achieve a grass-roots, gorilla campaign. A few stops later, I found myself with a mini ad campaign on Mini Munchers, as well as a guest recipe post. Wandering around I also found gobs of other useful contacts — like-minded people that are just asking for food allergies to be acknowledged and taken seriously, which then led to engaging correspondence about awareness and the right way to reach the food weary audience. One such response came from the lovely ladies at The Mouthy Housewives — whom I join today in answering a very important question regarding peanut/nut-free policies at schools — a topic that I deal with on an almost daily basis with Will and his new preschool. It was a great opportunity to be able to voice my suggestions to the Mom that wrote in as well as the general public AND, interesting to see the debate so far…

One Mom suggests putting all allergy kids on their own island in their own classroom! BEAUTIFUL. Allergy kids and Lepers having so much in common****….

So, once you’ve gathered yourself after rolling on the floor laughing at the ‘OMG someone SAID THAT insanity’ over the above statement, click on over to read some of the more intelligent thoughts that are being thrown out — share and enjoy — in all seriousness, because YOU KNOW that I’m taking every word TO HEART while I muddle around in a pool of sarcasm.

****This is a joke. Despite it’s lack of grace….

HOMEMADE DONUTS.
Need we say more?

Donuts—1st attempt (Also, we love kitchen gadgets)

I know. Who needs a Donut Maker? I mean, one could go through life — several lives, actually and never even once consider how much better things could be if one were to acquire a Donut Maker. Right? Which is exactly why… read more… (don’t stop now!).

Hey Martha,

It’s been a few months since I’ve communicated with you in such a public format, but after reading your help wanted ad this morning, it might be time for us to have a Pow-Wow. And no, I don’t mean that in some sort of Pow-Wow The Indian Boy way… because this is anything BUT politically correct. What I’d like to say is that although the Hallmark Channel is a soft porn version of fabulous, it is time to step up the game. And I KNOW. You have the corner on every possible street in America and beyond when it comes to BEING THE BRAND. From Home Depot to KMart to that weird Home Decorators catalog, I don’t even think it’s possible for you to know your actual reach on a daily basis… But time is short, my sweets. Oprah has left the building.

BUT NOT FOR LONG. It’s only a matter of days… MINUTES, SECONDS in fact before the big O walks right around the corner (with your name on it by the way) and into her own fledgeling cable network, OWN, where she will set her laser beamed gold fingers on the buttons of SUCCESS. Only tiny pixels of color and black and white space before she launches her own line of every product known to man. AND only shards of left over fabric projects before she picks up a glue gun and realizes that, not only has she accomplished everything one can possibly reach for, BUT she’s also rather CRAFTY. Did you NOT see the truffles on her last show?

So, yes. Yadda yadda, whatever. Oprah might not be of the same BREED when it comes to STANDARDS, but dude — there are others snapping at your heels and NO, they are not all guns out Mrs. Fields (who failed, by the way).. Ignoring the idea of competition when in fact there is none. No. These ‘everyday’ women have been watching. They’ve been filing your road map, AND — while you were out collecting the morning dew for this weekend’s spring chicken recipe, THEY HAVE BEEN FLUFFING. I mean really. Gwenyth Paltrow on the cover of the new trashy Bon Appetite screaming about how when she puts pasta in boiling water it becomes edible… Jennifer Lopez, “toning down”… And MY GOD, PIPPA MIDDLETON — DON’T EVEN let her near a sewing machine as she sets the “spring time trends”…

I hear you. I hear you almost as clear as the ice cracking as it wears thin. You are turning 70 soon. You work 7 days a week as it is, and (despite the trail you’ve burned) you can’t do it all. AND WHY SHOULD YOU? But here’s the thing. Looking for a big money investor isn’t the answer… No. All that is going to do is fuel an already overgrown empire. What you need, if you don’t mind a little advice, is to partner with someone that has some but can offer more. Yes. That’s right. Without pointing to the obvious or, better yet, running out on Main Street to prostitute myself as the next game in town (again), my qualifications and life practices are seemingly endless:

Procreation of the cutest kids only.
Complete and total financial dependence.
If you can read, you can cook.
Traditional design theories paired with lots and lots of alcohol.
Anything in excess is bad, unless it makes you disgustingly happy.
Wisteria.
Shallow, but down right Honest.
All eating issues, self-image and PTSD are completely kept in the closet. Locked.
Being a Bitch is OKAY.
When running through the Louvre, take very little seriously.
And of course, on paper I look even smarter and more creative than I think I am…

So, without being too pathetic… I think that this might work out for both of us. I really need someone to complete everything that I don’t finish, and you obviously need someone that can only best be described as ME. I’m easy to reach. Somewhat affordable, and boast an ego equal to whatever you want it to be… That is, unless, you question anything I say or do. AND, without being too repetitive, because you already know all of these things about me, there is a very good chance that I will preach more than I practice, speak in hushed insinuations, AND assume that you are constantly OKAY with any decision I make on behalf of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia. Because that’s what you’re looking for. Trust me.

Related articles

• Is Martha Stewart For Sale? (blogs.wsj.com)
• Martha Stewart Company Announcement Triggers Sale Speculation (huffingtonpost.com)

Yum.
(click here for the recipe)

In other completely unrelated yet related news, Pregnant Women ARE smug… it’s true. Elly posted this on her site yesterday… I thought it was worth the repost in case you missed it.