Results tagged "Anger"

We spent yesterday thinking about last year.
All day.
Just thinking.
All day.
All of us.
See – Here’s Bluedog LOST IN THOUGHT.
If only he wasn’t so introverted.

This is a follow up to a post made almost exactly one year ago… NOTHING HAS CHANGED.

We live very close to the Peconic Bay and there are ponds near our property that feed off of this Bay. In the ponds we are neighbors to lovely swan families that we follow and watch with love and fear combined… they tend to have anger-management issues. Also along these ponds runs a public road which people treat almost as a park–bike riders, fishing families, walkers… birders all enjoy the road as it winds away from Shinnecock Hills and into the Bay. It is quite lovely which is why it makes me so angry to state the obvious.. PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE SWANS.

Almost every fair weathered morning for the past few years a car (black station wagon Volvo) has pulled up along side of the pond behind our house. The woman driving the vehicle honks her horn upon arrival. When she does this, swans kick their webbed feet into high gear and float to her as fast as possible. With this, she throws her leg over the divider, walks to the edge of the water and DUMPS A BUCKET OF CORN. 

I have fought myself on this situation for a very long time. The corn is not only bad for the Swans, but it has caused a major upset in the natural Audubon order of things… The Swans have become die-hard territorial about her feedings and have actually KILLED OTHER SWANS (4 to be exact) in an effort to remain somewhat DOMESTICATED. I know I said anger-management issues, but this is actually quite a normal reaction for any kind of animal being treated like a pet. 

Now – this is my problem. I can either throw all “respect your elders” caution to the wind and go “speak” to this woman… Or I can continue to spy from the other side of the pond saying DON’T FEED THE SWANS under my breathe while my blood boils.. Or – I can leave a note on her car while she continues on her walk to probably feed other wild creatures… OR I can grab a can of spray paint and … A year has passed and I still can’t deal… Please please please -  DO NOT FEED THE SWANS. 

I have a few enemies. Yes – I know, hard to believe.. how could anyone Not like me? At any rate… they exist and although most of them lurk around in lands far far away.. there are a few close at hand. I’m not going to lie.. some of these monsters are of my own creation… but others–well they are just simply out for blood. For example, I had to do a double take the other day while driving through Southampton Village… There he was… the large beast of an enemy walking up Job’s Lane… chills… the top of my avoidance list. I had to go around the block again in stealth mode — only to catch him oozing his slime all over Main Street. He did not look good…. old, gray, mad, mean, unhappy and probably unhealthy… which brings me to the point of this little rant… hating people — is it really worth the effort?

Hating feels terrible. It eats away causing fear and bad behavior, even more meanness… It’s a huge heavy load of feelings… UGH… feelings. Hating requires energy and skill. Notice how clumsy people are usually not haters. Hating requires planning and mapping out intentions–all while peering through the eye on the back of your head.. Never sit with your back to the door. It’s all rather stressful and time consuming… you know, running that evil empire that was created by you in your own head. Can’t we just give Peace a Chance? To be hated… well that feels pretty much the same way, but there is a shame factor that I can’t seem to figure out.

When I think about this person, and the trials and tribulations that
occurred — thus causing enemy status on both sides… I still have anger. I’m not ready to forgive… I probably never will be, and to boot — he never will either… However, having given the goosebumps a few days to settle… I can report that after catching a glimpse, some of the dread has lifted — things are feeling a little bit lighter.