Results tagged "Child"

Hello there… won’t you please come in.

I’ve been hoping that you would stop by — there are so many things going on these days that its hard to keep track — What haven’t I told you lately?

Did I tell you about how inconvenient it is that I moved my computer to the basement? Yes. It was a bad idea. Now almost every time I need or want to compute, I have to slink off under the guise of doing laundry. It was also rather inconvenient that my accountant moved his office from the neighboring town of Hampton Bays to a place called Aquebogue…. Which makes me think that I have to borrow Mr. Sal’s thigh high fishing waders and head out into the bogs of Long Island while carrying peace offerings so as not to upset the natives. What’s that? Long Island doesn’t have any bogs? Really. ARE YOU SURE? Because I just googled it and therefore must BEG TO DIFFER.

Do you know what else Long Island has? PINE BARRENS…. Masses of pine trees huddled and mopped together to form clumps of forestry so thick that if you were to stick your hand in, it might just take DAYS to pull it back out. Right? Although I’ve never actually tried this, as I drive to places like AQUEBOGUE, I can envision this happening. Which is not only why I’m more afraid of Pine Barrens than I am of a bullet riddled Hood — But ALSO why I’ve chosen to write a blog post that seems to be about nothing. Because I spent a good part of the past few days reading through Mommy Blogs and I have to say that writing about nothing might be a better choice for time well spent.

It all started rather innocently, with my perusal of a few really good blogs that I enjoy on an almost daily basis. I would never consider these blogs to be “Mom Blogs” because they don’t focus solely on the lives of the writer’s children. Instead they blather on about idiosyncratic topics OF WHICH I feel compelled to compare my own life with and THEREFORE consider to be nothing short of GENIUS. At one point, as is what usually happens here in this conundrum of the internet, I clicked on a link… and then another… and another… and another until I was lost and wandering aimlessly through a sea of angry and heavily drinking Moms that seem to not only loathe their daily lives, but also have no qualms about sharing these rather sad and insecure feelings about their kids, husbands and general STATI-Q in life.

A lot of these blogs, of which I’m too nice to actually link to so that the Moms don’t hunt me down and force me into the Pine Barrens, focus on really personal things… like cute pictures of kids coinciding with posts about not having enough time to ones self anymore… or how so-in-such’s life could be so much different today had she not married while pregnant and, yadda 3 more kids later, she’s lucky to get one night out a week away from the dirty bastards. The bastards, of course, being her kids… not the chain gang of friends that she also has photographs of on her blog, in what I can only assume is her home, doing keg stands and smoking butts–Blindingly F’d up, while the kids, I mean BASTARDS, hang around at knee high vantage. And, while I am sitting here, beating myself up for inconveniencing myself by moving my computer to a place in my house that is seemingly impossible to get to… I would MUCH rather hang out with my kid, not complaining.

SO, what’s going on here? I mean, aside from the good Mom Bloggers — of which I liken to Gilda the Good Witch, there are also some rather talented writers out there that AREN’T MOMS and also know that this is ALL WRONG. Could it be that the lives of other semi-celebrity, self-proclaimed Mommy Bloggers have made it such that others feel the need to TELL ALL online? Do they think that there is the same status waiting for them at the end — along with SWAG and personal assistants? Fame & Fortune… And her little dog too! And when exactly DOES IT END? When the dirty bastards, aka CHILDREN, finally escape from the lives that their Moms have told us all about in some aspect of pride? REALLY? And is it worth it? Because, even though I’m writing this from the TALLEST PEDESTAL IN EXISTENCE,  if attempting to write seriously about hating motherhood is the new white, then I remain cloaked in BLACK (seeing how it’s spring-n-all).

About so many things…

But when it comes to big time parenting decisions, I have to admit that I’m usually up for suggestions. Because… in the beginning, he was just a baby. Things weren’t that hard, really. I mean there was the whole life adjustment thing — the realization that nothing was more important than him…. The giving up of all things selfish  — as if showering once in a while was such a glutenous activity. Full time parent means FULL TIME parent. But after a while… as he grew, crawling — talking — walking — RUNNING… the amount of work I had cut out for me morphed from around the clock survival to more of a set of guidelines. No – Don’t do that — Not a good idea — You can try but it might not work. And, finally, the decision to let him figure it out for himself… and the guilt involved with the outcome — standing on the handlebars of the big-wheel was only going to lead to tears.

We decided to take Will out of school last fall after trying it out for only one week. One week at the school that we thought was “the best”. They agreed — although “advanced” (because there is a benchmark for TODDLERS, for the love of gawd), and nearing the size of a 5 year old, at two and three quarter years old — he was simply too young emotionally. Our departure wasn’t without a disclaimer, however — that if he did stay, they were confident that he would “eventually” like it… which reminded me of when Mr. Sal tastes something, remarks on how disgusting it is and then says “Try this”… Because by then I had already collected my child and was hightailing it through the countryside…. that much more determined to take him out, out and AWAY. And as we released ourselves back onto the beach — back into our daily routines filled with errands, play dates and priceless days together, I was sorry for even thinking about school. But here we are…  right back where we were a year ago… deciding what to do in September.

It would be extremely wrong of me to criticize the institution that we held in such high regard. So, without getting off my high horse (that is sooo very high), let’s just say that we are shopping around again…. We’ve had a change of heart… Because, as I shrug off the parental intimidation, we may have been wrong the first time around… So, let’s NOT LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN.

Let me preface this entry by making a huge excuse for the spoilage of my son, Will. Aside from his inherent awesomeness and beyond this planet cuteness, he is also currently the only Grandson with one set of Grandparents, and a 3rd Grandchild to the other set. He is also a Nephew to my two sisters and my husband’s siblings – two sisters and a brother… not to mention the endless sea of extended family that we all love and adore. Then there are the friends… Wow, we sound like the most popular kids in school, right? Not.

In Will’s vast lifetime of 2 years… I think that Mr. Sal and I have purchased–at the most–10% of his belongings… toys and clothing… All the rest have been bestowed upon us by our loving collection of friends and family… The toys that have truly turned our home into a playhouse… and the clothing… MY GOD THE CLOTHING. Honestly, we love it… so if you are reading this… please DO NOT STOP… But during the holidays… it does beg the question as parents… What to buy?… I turned to Mari @ Small for Big, a friend that I am stalking whose website I am slightly obsessed with… I love Mari’s picks because the items are all dollar friendly, somewhat green and are usually created with an AWESOME design sense… I might just buy a few things for myself to display as our Holiday centerpiece.. Regardless, I’m sure by the end of this list I will have spent it all–sorry to the rest, it’s all for Will this year… Take it away Mari!…

When I sent out my request to help shop for the kids dear to you this holiday season, little did I realize Ry’s response would be: “what do I get for the boy who has everything?” Hmm. That’s one of those tough ones isn’t it. And with the grandparents’ tendencies to spoil kids rotten (we love it though, right?) I think the phenomenon is pretty common.

So, I thought I’d help her out with some of my favorites for a 2 year old boy who happens to like trucks, trains, blocks puzzles, and balls. There’s something in every price range here – and some great things for girls too.

Magic Gertie Ball – Many parents already know the wonders of the easy to grasp, easy to inflate Gertie Ball.  But the Magic Gertie is special – remember Hypercolor clothes in the 80′s? It’s baaaaaack.  (This is much better than my HS choir teacher and his hypercolor shorts. Not Kidding.)

Stacking Cone – An Act Two twist on the classic stacker – it’s definitely harder than your standard version – for the puzzler side of Mr. Will.

Billibo – A toy beyond explanations. Because it’s creative potential is best unlocked by a kid (hat? Rocker? Pail? Sled? Something never seen before?) This one made Small for Big’s theWANTlists this year.

Dexterity Stellina Color Sorting Puzzle – Mr. Will can find hours of puzzling choices with this crazy star-shaped shape/size/color sorter.

Douglas, from Monster Factory – Because every single monster at the Monster Factory is worthy of Mr. Will’s love, but I could only pick one.

Switchback Racetrack -  A vertical way to get your fix of racing, crashing, and little boys’ squealing.

Dalmation’s Choice Fire Engine – The Cadillac (sorry, fire truck) of ride-ons. It’s a retro classic to keep for the grandchildren. It has to be for that price.

Thanks Mari!–To follow up, en-route to our house via Santa’s sled (PS did you know that if Santa actually went as fast as he would have to go to reach all the children of the world in one night, his sled would burst into flames? sorry.)…

• Billibo – I’m just so curious to see how Will approaches this thing…
• Dexterity Stellina Color Sorting Puzzle – He loves puzzles!…
• Switchback Racetrack – Hours of predictable fun…
• Douglas, from Monster Factory – Honestly… ALL FOR ME, ALL ME – do you think Douglas drinks? Kinda looks like a Patrón man… shots anyone?

For the Birds receives a varied and interesting audience–and I love it. I know this because most of the comments I receive – through the blog commenting tool or more often via direct email, are gracious and well thought out. I also receive hate mail, which I have mentioned before and is a part of the whole mail phobia…. But even the time that the hater took to write makes me feel… I don’t know…. “Processed”. And who am I kidding – almost failing Philosophy 101 in college… there just has to be something to this love, hate, love relationship…

A few of my favorite non-hater comments from recent months:

Consider this Evaluation of Evidence via email:

“First, I liked the title.  It has a little of a nineteenth century sound to it.  And the sound reminded me of the title of a book I read a long time ago:  “Within the Context of No Context.”  Obviously, this connection cannot be explained.  One of the themes of the book was about making judgements, and how we move from childish judgements to adult judgements.

Coincidentally, I have been thinking a lot about my own habit of judging everything, almost always negatively.  I would have had your reaction exactly to the sign about fuel efficient cars.  I am aware that there are alternative judgements in the face of such evidence.  Maybe:  “I am so glad someone had the idea to recognize people who are sensitive to the fate of the world.  This sign is such a good idea.”  I don’t know that person, and probably wouldn’t want to either.  But why is my judgement so immediately scornful? Childish or adult?  I will continue to ponder this, for a while anyway.
 
Please continue to write these wonderful posts.  Someone out there appreciates them.” –Dave S

Where am I? via comments:

I’m going to guess Colonel Mustard in the library with the candlestick,
but then I decided to go with:
The girl in the black coat in the bottom right of the picture (because
if it isn’t you, why would a complete stranger smile for the camera?),
in Dubai, in 2003.–Robin

This Email Smells Like a Peach via comments:

You get hate mail? I’m jealous. You know you’ve made it when you get hate mail.

I’ve been waiting, and waiting. When I get one I’m SO going to publish it. My mom will be so proud…–Amanda

Somewhere between Pollock & Kandinsky via comments & email:

Hi Ryan,
I like it when I come across what I once described to a friend on the
internet as a ‘welcome new source of meaning’.
I’ve had an interest in Pollock for some time and through a friend have
come to appreciate Kandinsky. In watching the Ed Harris movie on
Pollock, my ears pricked up when he was depicted as including Kandinsky
as a key influence. Well, this morning the thought just occurred to me
and I searched on ‘From Pollock to Kandinsky’, and found your piece on
your son Will’s first watercolour. Nice serendipidity. Now reading a
site where Pollock was said to be interested in Jung’s ideas…more
serendipidity!
See http://www.thehindu.com/fline/fl1614/16140700.htm
What I wanted to share with you was a site that, as far as I recall,
hails from Canada, called Ode magazine – about art and artists. A while
back I found a page in French, comparing Kandinsky and Borduas. It was
in French, but I took the trouble to get it translated (just rough
internet option).
One of the phrases, in French, from Kandinsky was this: “Les enfants
sont les plus grands imaginatifs de tous les temps.” My rough internet
translation read: “The children are largest imaginative of all times. ”
Here’s that site:http://zodode.5.50megs.com/OetC/pensee_k_b.htm
Now I look at Will’s watercolour, and see a nice completion of that
little journey.
Regards,
Dave in Australia

Brave New World via comments:

I think that the balance lies somewhere in the middle– I think it’s
ludicrous that fruit loops are a “Smart” choice, but I also think that
the food companies need to preach moderation vs. making people think
that because it’s “better” for them, they can eat a whole box. But then
how can they make a bunch of money?
If the cookie monster says cookies are a “once in a while food,” why
can’t there be levels for the check-marks?
I think that we are at the beginning of “the great reckoning” in food
marketing (and I work in it). Companies are going to need to develop
some sort of social conscience. Putting a check-mark on a box isn’t
going to be enough. But skippy pb is pretty tasty.–burgerblogger

Guest Bird #5 – Mari

I’m Mari (rhyme that with Atari, not Gary, thank you). I’m so happy to have a place to ramble on and on and on and on, without having to post about the things I post about at my usual blog – Small for Big. Hope you’re ready for that Ry!
 

I’ve been looking forward to writing a post for days, but I keep running out of time – or more importantly, I keep forgetting it because of all the other random little things that take up my time. They keep pushing the writing aside. So now that I’m actually pushing all the other things aside, it seemed appropriate to write about the random business that is my life.
 

I mean, come on, I no longer have a day job! (lost that to a lay off in April) I should have oodles of time! The problem is, I forget to account for the 10 month old nipping at my heels. Ok, she’s a baby not a puppy, but she does nip at everything. My daughter is definitely a time-muncher. In my new life as a Work-At-Home-Mom (though the work is rather sporadic, see above) I’ve been eating up interviews with other Designer/Etsy/Artsy moms who all seem to agree: when your children are awake, your focus is on them. I agree, in theory. But in practice there’s always one more email, one more website, a little more to draw, and on my lazy days, a bit more TV to watch. The bigger issue is my Over Achiever brain (I blame that tendency on my liberal arts Undergraduate Degree) (and of course I said Undergraduate because I’m an OA and I also have a Graduate Degree). As an OA, I forget about the reality of the day’s schedule and assume I can get 10 things done. Instead, I should be choosing 1. Then, at 10:30 PM when I finally decide to give in and watch some bad Conan O’Brien (and I think he’s getting worse) I might actually be able to say I accomplished something.
 

I had an old boss who used to email herself the top 5 things she’d accomplished at the end of every week. She used them as a record for reviews later on. But when I managed to copy her practice for a couple of months, I found it actually helped me remember what I’d been doing. Actually, as I think about it, I’d bet a lot of my “time management” issues stem from my inability to remember anything.
 

Anyway, the end of all of this rambling is this. I’ve decided to try out a “master” schedule.  Because the larger problem – larger than over-scheduling my days – is that it appears I’ve chosen to focus on 5 different career paths. Blogger, Freelance Designer, Artist, (future) Etsy Shop Owner, and Mom. We’ll analyze the feasibility of that at another time. Given that the work week has 5 days in it, I’ve decided to pick a focus for each day. In the order listed above. Obviously I’ll still be all of those things – Mom in particular – on all of those days, but let’s see if choosing one thing at a time can help me make some progress. I’ll let you know how it’s going.