Results tagged "Chocolate"

For a rather significant part of my life I have resisted the acknowledgment of my birthday, which is a not only totally lame but also wreaks of complete and total hypocrisy…
 
Because just like everyone else, I think I might want my birthday to be acknowledged… Just ever so slightly. When you are a kid, there isn’t anything like an awesome birthday… and then you get older. And for years during my 20s & 30s I have been completely like… Oh blah blah blah, just another day… yadda yadda – whatevs… AND I would painfully believe myself. Walking around draped in denial… wondering WHO KNOWS and when/if they are going to do something about it. I would often attempt to remove my birth date from office calendars — dreading the uncomfortable and TOTALLY unnecessary office birthday party… I mean why?

I can remember one year, when I worked in an office with very few other women (mentioned here) who would all gather in a tiny closed up office with no windows and exchange cards, cake and every once in a while… gifts. This was not only torture, but also stood tall among double faced ladies that would pry, spew gossip and then end up cackling away while stabbing you in the back.. did you hear what Bob said to JIM’S WIFE?! It was harsh and rather intimidating. I spent one birthday in this arena where they gave me a card and a coconut cake… Coconut, by law, is only allowed to enter my body covered in chocolate in the guise of an Almond Joy… So, while I was trying not to gag on the white fibers of death, I opened the card to find a mostly NAKED MAN along with some cheesy line like… “Having a really hard time believing it’s your birthday”… as they all died laughing, grabbing the card away from me to inspect the centerfold in depth…. totally pleased with themselves in having made me embarrassed and uncomfortable, while I turned a nice fire engine red. Bashful to have shared this moment among almost strangers and not my good friends — with whom, it might have been really funny.

A few years ago I sent a card to one of my oldest and dearest friends that now lives on the west coast. It was a great illustration of a bunch of birthday candles running away from a cake… Gabriella is older than me… a whole bunch of 13 days older. In our history together we have shared many birthdays avoiding our birthdays… acknowledging them… nodding in agreement that we don’t really like them very much and then going on our ways… When her birthday popped up on my calendar this year, I looked to find a card to beat the running candles, which sent me into a tizzy of missing her enormously. I couldn’t find one. And so,  while I do find comfort that she, among others, are only an email, text or Facebook message away–what with phones becoming so ten minutes ago n-all…  And that the world appears to still be getting smaller, I hope that you’ll share a piece of virtual cake with me today. Because I’m finding it really hard to believe…

I don’t think that I will ever understand the connection between eggs, chickens and over sized scary rabbits when it comes to the celebration of one man’s (alleged) struggle to save the universe from eternal damnation.

I was leaving the grocery store today when a fleet of angry carts rolled through the parking lot and launched an attack. It was raining and super windy and who knows why they selected me — seeing how I parked my misanthropic beast of an SUV a million miles from the store. Regardless, they rolled with fury and as I lifted Will into his car seat I stepped right into a massive puddle… I could feel them pressing their metal up against my back so after locking the boy in place I turned and glared for them to retreat… My feet soaking in grocery store parking lot muck — they taunted me by spinning their wheels so I yelled – - I KNOW! I KNOW I NEVER THANKED MY READERS FOR ALL THE LOVE! And, having admitted this, they started to back-off… while I, in turn, wet–cold and defeated, drove out of the parking lot in ultimate stealth mode… only to catch them eyeing my exit. 

And it is with great pleasure that I thank the following for recognizing me and all of my aimless internet babble:

Dufmanno: Thank you for the “I Heart Your Blog” award. I’ll meet you in 1986 where we can shimmy to Two of Hearts in all of our Stacey Q glory. Then we can play The Police’s “MOTHER” backwards and find the real meaning behind the reason… in the dark. 

Lagunatic: Thank you for the “Honest Scrap” award. I’ll meet you at Easter with a basket of chocolate eggs. Because chicken embryos are off limits. Sistah. Then we can bore ourselves to death by thanking each other over and over again until we get angry and have a cat fight because we were being all too polite to begin with.

and…

Dear Vapid: Thank you for the “I Heart Your Blog” award. Honestly, when we meet I hope that we don’t worry others around us too much with endless obscenities and giggling. Nonstop spasmodic giggling. I’m giggling right now. And you are too. Stop. STOP. At least we will be wearing capes.

So that’s it for now. And now I’m weepy from the love. Did I mention that I love you? ALL of you? Even the ones out there that completely ignore me. And then read my blog. The ones that send me mean emails. And then read my blog. The ones that get super annoyed with me on an almost daily basis. And then read my blog… and then read my other blog. blog blog blog blog.

Okay, so he’s chocolate, not blue.

But, he is Blue… Blue as in a state of mind. Blue as in calm and tranquil. Blue as in True, Rhythm and Blues… Blue as in “Chill”. Blue as in Vishnu.

Blue after a swim: