Results tagged "Dining room"

This is my favorite pre-ceremony picture…

But there are many more pics to come…

The wedding was amazing… And with the Bride and Groom now off, safely away to an island paradise, the rest of us — Or, at least I, now have to try to leave the bubble of awesomeness behind and get back to real life. It isn’t easy… an entire two days packed full of family and life long friends that I never get to see… Similar to my own wedding where it was hard to remember all of the conversations that took place along with all of the ones that I never had a chance to have… Regardless, it was priceless… I’m giving myself a week to detox, and I didn’t even drink but aside from a sip-a-loo of pinot noir (which suspiciously tasted  like the finest wine on earth). I’m sure that as the haze fades away, and the ability to feel my feet returns, there will be a lot more to share…

I was going to write this post about how a good friend commented on how ‘great I am at cooking for kids’, to which I very strangely became self-conscious and immediately organized two consecutive nights of grown-up dinner parties… And house guests arriving tomorrow to stay until Thursday… Because I can’t help but think that I MUST be good at other stuff too, and OBVIOUSLY her comment was insinuating that I was BAD at everything else. But then I threw that idea out with the bath water (sans enormous toddler-baby) because, whatever — just who am I trying to prove anything to, hmmm? Martha?

But then I went ahead and made kid friendly allergen free wheat bread anyway… Because not only am I slowly defining narcissism — but the only reason those allergens were ever in the store bought bread to begin with was all about shelf life…

It all used to be so easy… if I didn’t want to go, I wouldn’t. If I wanted to go, sometimes I still wouldn’t. I guess that’s the problem with being a pseudo-introvert… That writes a very public account of everything–hypocrisy is SO much fun.

But today is Saturday, so no one is reading this, right? I can just sneak this in and whisper softly… because nothing has changed.

And I’m just using this visual because Sting called me and told me to write about my insecurity issues.

It remains the same.. if I have a meeting, I wait until the very last second thinking about how much I don’t want to go even though it will be painless and probably result in good things… How I am invited to parties and events and asked to be in on important causes… and I don’t participate and/or attend even though I want to and plan on it. How I am rather well connected but refuse to admit it. It isn’t unlike 13 years ago (dear god!) in college when I adopted the mantra of “Just Don’t Go” and would suggest it to friends… like it was THAT easy. You don’t want to go, so don’t. It was all very freeing and simple… Just Don’t Go. I remember thinking it when I was about to walk down the aisle… when I went into labor with Will, when all of the great things that have happened to me occurred… And look at me now.. I am already climbing over the fence… Running away… Hiding under my dining room table… In other words, I just bought my tickets to Blogher 2010, which is in August. And the fact that I just spent actual dollars might be the only thing that pushes me through the door. That and the idea of meeting some of you… FACE TO FACE. EYES TO EYES. So… if you are going… and you happen to glance out windows of the NYC Hilton and you see someone outside pasted up against the glass –  just leave me there and note that I went, but I didn’t at the same time. Let the games begin.