Results tagged "Grocery store"

Seriously.
I need big ones.

Because last night I went to my very first TOWN meeting, and all I can say is that I wish I had some balls. Seriously. And I have to capitalize TOWN in this instance because after listening to the rants of baffonery, my eyelids are permanently peeled back and my jaw is unattractively dragging on the floor. Of course, it didn’t help that I drowned myself in the biggest wine glass I could find after the TOWN meeting — but we are now just 5 hours shy of 24 hours ago and the overwhelming feeling of ickiness has yet to subside. So.. just what was I thinking? I mean. WHO DO I THINK I AM? Well, to start with, I am a resident of the TOWN of Southampton as well as a former small business owner. I am also a human being that likes to do silly things like… eat food, feed my family, and — on occasion, wear clothes. Unfortunately, living in Southampton TOWN also means that all of the silly little things that we like to do usually require leaving the TOWN to be accomplished. Because we are normal. We are average. We work really hard for the money and things that we have and therefore don’t have the luxury of buying all of our clothes at Saks or overpriced boutiques. Instead, we invite really wealthy people to come here to do that. In the TOWN that we live in. The TOWN that is our homebase… while we leave the TOWN to go to places like most of the country already has downtown. Places like price clubs… Old Navy… STOP-N-SHOP. And so, when I was told about a lovely new development plan for the location pictured above… One that will house a new grocery store and several retail chains… I took the giant bubble maker from the child and started running wildly around the yard chanting… SOMEBODY CARES, SOMEBODY CARES… only to end up sprawled on the grass staring DIRECTLY at the sun. 

But then, as the dictionary defines typical, a complete and total anti committee was formed resulting in last night’s meeting. I wanted to go and tell them all about how expensive it is to live here… as if they don’t already know… I wanted to stand up for the developer and say HEY THIS IS GOOD. I wanted to say, this is MY DEVELOPMENT! GO AWAY. There were some valid concerns, traffic and residential issues… but when the character attacks started my ears began to ring… And then I was all done. Frozen solid into a impenetrable block of ice… which, interestingly enough, was defying all laws of science considering the amount of sweat I was starting to produce. This was being televised. And hey… these people were being REALLY MEAN. Was I really going to do this? Was I really going to stand up in front of these 100+ REALLY ANGRY ANTIS and say… “Like, yeah, I Tooootally need to shop”… I imagined myself strutting.. how was I going to walk without legs? And then I heard myself talking… leaning into the microphone, “balls” was all that came out. I started to become one with the folding chair… I sunk down low. Then someone passed me the petition and I voted YES — signing my name… as it was ripped from my hands by an ANTI I thought… why do they need my name… and then they passed it on among each other… all noting who had voted yes… They knew. THEY KNEW IT WAS ME. And when the ring leader stepped to the podium to ask if anyone had anything POSITIVE to say, I fell hands and knees to the floor and crawled out of the room. Completely silent and without any sign of balls.

But this isn’t the end. I mean not really. This was the first of several TOWN meetings that I plan to attend in the hopes that my voice will eventually leave my brain and land somewhere meaningful. Let’s just hope that I can find the skill of public speaking while being right about everything all the time so that everyone does exactly what I tell them to. Right? Because I need this AND SO DO YOU. And all those REALLY MEAN ANTIS who were glaring at me in an attempt to burn a hole somewhere to pour the brainwash in… just give me a few days to  grow a pair so big that you’ll NEVER see me coming.    

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I need to write about something. But where to start is kind of escaping me right now. I could write about the weather, which is undeniably boring. Or I could write about how the babysitter was an hour late… and called to see if she should bother showing up at all… and I was all like, UM, YEAH! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? Because it is and isn’t her fault that she’s 19 and therefore does not understand that although it isn’t her fault that she doesn’t have her own car… it still is her fault on every possible level. But now I just remembered that I several other things to do… so the rest of this post is going to have to wait. 

So what did you do today? Did you dance through the streets? Did you brandish the arms? Did you stand guard? Did you talk the talk and walk the walk? Did you?

What’s that? I know, what do I expect? You to have this lavishly preposterous Monday? Well, actually yes. I expect to live vicariously through the people that read this… so GET ON WITH IT. Hey hey… don’t get angry. I’m not pointing any fingers… wait, what? What did I do? Why, LET ME TELL YOU.

I kicked off the day with a typical morning conversation with the doctor’s office — Yes, although they faxed the prescription on April 6th, it was never received. Which is why I don’t have my brain pills.. otherwise tainted as vitamins. Oh no.. never received and I am in complete D deficiency. Call back and leave a message? Why, aren’t I talking to a real person now? Oh, because you only fax and email requests that are left on the voicemail? Am I getting this right? You do realize that you are talking to me right now and you have my file open right in front of your nose… you know this, right? Because IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE.

Then I drove to a local strip mall to have some proposals bound while I took my son to Starbucks. Yes. That’s right. INSANITY. But that’s NOT ALL. First I went to the grocery store and bought lettuce… because I just might have a SALAD. I know. MADNESS.

And then, just before the babysitter called suggesting that she wasn’t going to make it until she felt me tightening my grip on her ponytail — dragging her through the telephone, I thought about throwing in a load of laundry… but then I forgot and sat down to write this glimmer of sparkling genius instead. Now aren’t you happy about that? I mean, what would you have done if you hadn’t read this? All things aside and nonsense about living your life… right? I mean really. And now what? And now WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? I’m going to make dinner because it’s 5:10pm and THAT’S WHAT WE DO AT 5:10pm. And thank GAWD I got all of this out of the way! Because somewhere scattered throughout the fabulousness of this weather trenched day I also did about 3 hours of actual design work. Real work. For real money. Which has left me limp and hanging by a thread… and before you get all manic and curse the gods of MY FOOT WHEN WILL SHE STOP? I’m going. I hope you had a good day too.  

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I was leaving the grocery store today when a fleet of angry carts rolled through the parking lot and launched an attack. It was raining and super windy and who knows why they selected me — seeing how I parked my misanthropic beast of an SUV a million miles from the store. Regardless, they rolled with fury and as I lifted Will into his car seat I stepped right into a massive puddle… I could feel them pressing their metal up against my back so after locking the boy in place I turned and glared for them to retreat… My feet soaking in grocery store parking lot muck — they taunted me by spinning their wheels so I yelled – - I KNOW! I KNOW I NEVER THANKED MY READERS FOR ALL THE LOVE! And, having admitted this, they started to back-off… while I, in turn, wet–cold and defeated, drove out of the parking lot in ultimate stealth mode… only to catch them eyeing my exit. 

And it is with great pleasure that I thank the following for recognizing me and all of my aimless internet babble:

Dufmanno: Thank you for the “I Heart Your Blog” award. I’ll meet you in 1986 where we can shimmy to Two of Hearts in all of our Stacey Q glory. Then we can play The Police’s “MOTHER” backwards and find the real meaning behind the reason… in the dark. 

Lagunatic: Thank you for the “Honest Scrap” award. I’ll meet you at Easter with a basket of chocolate eggs. Because chicken embryos are off limits. Sistah. Then we can bore ourselves to death by thanking each other over and over again until we get angry and have a cat fight because we were being all too polite to begin with.

and…

Dear Vapid: Thank you for the “I Heart Your Blog” award. Honestly, when we meet I hope that we don’t worry others around us too much with endless obscenities and giggling. Nonstop spasmodic giggling. I’m giggling right now. And you are too. Stop. STOP. At least we will be wearing capes.

So that’s it for now. And now I’m weepy from the love. Did I mention that I love you? ALL of you? Even the ones out there that completely ignore me. And then read my blog. The ones that send me mean emails. And then read my blog. The ones that get super annoyed with me on an almost daily basis. And then read my blog… and then read my other blog. blog blog blog blog.

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Can we just talk, for a minute, about how fast time goes by?
I mean, really.
Why must time, and the lack thereof, feel so chaotic… I mean we know that it is fleeting but does it have to feel so hectic at the same time?

This past weekend we had friends visiting — it was a blast, but the time went way too fast. And now, it’s Monday (yes, posting this on Tuesday–that’s how much time I had… just enough to write but not to actually publish) but then between design projects, this blog, finishing the downstairs bathroom, playing in the endlessly falling leaves with the boy, making sure to record it all as I go, cooking dinner–What would you do with a Spaghetti Squash?–Seeking out a cure for childhood food allergies, blaming it all on politics and the new Southampton Post Office… Ugh, going to the grocery store–Again. Laundry. And the clutter that I can’t seem to crawl out from under..Wow and only ten minutes before my conference call and then off to the doctor again to see if I can’t score a flu shot. Let’s just consider this week over. And then a wedding in the city on Saturday night–I have no idea what I am going to wear (any suggestions?)… Then two weeks of the same combined with our wedding anniversary, Thanksgiving and Will’s birthday.

Okay.. seven minutes until the conference call. How did we manage to pack a lifetime into the month of November? Did we sit down and say – this is the month that we are going to get it ALL DONE. Everything. Lifetime events paired with the necessary holiday traveling and My God – The PACKING! Couldn’t we have spread our lives out a little bit? I mean… we have 11 other months to work with, why do it all in one? And what am I doing here typing this — with everything else that needs to get done? Okay, 3 minutes left….The typing slows…as my mind goes blank and I suddenly find the silence to breathe.

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