Results tagged "Halloween"

Home alone last night, I was flipping stations between The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown and Saw V when it dawned on me that there really isn’t very much “spooky” about being scary anymore.

While being scary comes in many shapes and forms… MySpace, burnt toast, pollution, seeing a family with young kids walking down the highway… everyday seems to take the cake when it comes to realistic fears. And while I can assume that there isn’t anyone out there plotting to saw my body into bits and pieces — in as much as there is such a thing as the Great Pumpkin. I found myself thinking about what is really scary. Like chill me down to ice… through to the inner. Like a barely-there-being sitting right next to me, agreeing that this post is silly and should come to an immediate halt. But aren’t everyone’s ghosts smarter than they are anyway?

I have a blurry memory of being really really frightened as a little girl, riding through Disney World’s Haunted House… That shit may have been mechanical — but dudes, so was Chuckie Cheese at one point in time… and almost equally scary. I don’t remember who I was on the legendary ride with, but when our car turned to face a mirror there was a ghost sitting on my lap in the reflection. There may have been a scream… and I’d like to say that I dove off the ride and hightailed it straight over to Universal in search of some sort of ghost hunter… But this was the ’80s and no one really ‘believed’ back then. Which is probably why my parents thought it was so funny, and why I’ve blocked my reaction out.

Scary can be fun. As I also remember many many a Halloween where my Dad dressed up in a gorilla-suit to sit on the front porch with a bowl of candy in his lap… while I hid in the bushes listening to kids reason over whether it was a trap… but who cares… reaching for the sweets as my dad grabbed their wrists… screaming and running… Good times. He also was known for popping out of a large antique trunk with a stocking on his head in an attempt to get a rise, but that ended when, then BFF, Mary lost control of herself on the front steps–also a worthy memory if not for the popularity contests that ensued…

Scary, scary, scary… and who’s to say if it is or isn’t. I thought The Exorcist was hilarious… but the original black and white version of The Haunting had me sitting up in bed for nights wondering if there were child-aged ghosts playing with my toys. Ouija Boards by Parker Brothers, Witches… Teenage Vampires… Is it scary enough to believe in the supernatural — or is it just our imaginations gone wild in a world of nonstop, real life scary, bombardements?… Someone in Brooklyn tried to abduct a 4 year old boy… planes are being escorted by the military, and it has nothing to do with the extraterrestrials… 1 in 1.5 has a life threatening, contagious, disease… the Mac & Cheese is overcooked… I’m someone’s parent… But this is about spooky scary, right?

About 10 years ago I was walking our then puppy of a Bluedog at about 11pm. We lived in a rather sketched out historical district of Portsmouth, New Hampshire (circa 1623). It was winter… snowing, freezing ice droplets on my mostly scarf-covered face… The neighborhood was filled with seriously old homes turned new, fab apartments and lofts–Mostly tenement buildings that had at one time held multiple families who worked at the docks or in local factories. Colder than cold, there wasn’t another person in sight as we turned up a road that ended in the opposite direction with old, unused train tracks and the Piscataqua River. Bluedog suddenly came to a stop… I heard him growl so I looked up from my boots to meet a man with white hair and equally white skin brushing past me — literally, his sleeve touching mine. I stared, at first worried that a transient homeless man had just approached us… but he was wearing a rather impressive tuxedo with dress shoes that seemed oblivious to the icey conditions. He never looked at me… moving unbearably slow as if in a timed march, his eyes set straight down the road, never once showing signs that a dog was growling and sniffing at him… never once flinching at the salt encrusted ice wind that was blowing several miles an hour. Tightening my grip on Blue’s leash, I watched the man walking down towards the tracks, only a few yards at best until he faded before our eyes… into the snow, under the bright street lights.

Happy Halloween my friends, don’t forget to be spooked!

I never used to shop at the big box stores.

(they’re just so white.)

Even when we lived in New England, it never occurred to to me to save a little money here and there by shopping in bulk. But then we moved 40 miles shy of the end of an island, and our options diminished to that of nothing. Either go to the local market and spend, for example, $6.00 on a box of cereal, or drive thirty minutes west and spend less than that on three times as much. It really isn’t that out of the way, and with only one trip every few months or so — it doesn’t seem like that much of a hassle. Today, however, as I wandered the towering aisles filled with corn syrup and genetically modified soy… tires, mattresses, televisions, printer cartridges, DVDs, Barefoot Contessa books piled high next to The Winners Guide to The Biggest Loser…  I not only felt taken advantage of… but also completely common — which is the opposite of unique. The same. Just like everyone else… Because if you make it cheaper, we will buy it. And when religion enters the picture… insinuating that God is involved… should we also believe that He doesn’t mind being cheap?

Because that is which the “holidays” are based, right? Religion? Or have the marketing geniuses of the universe finally succeeded in making it okay to spend just short of $300 on a nativity set… in October. Because didn’t you notice, that one aisle over… frosty is trapped in a plastic snow globe and one more over… the Celtic festival of Samhain–aka Halloween, is in full swing… come one, come all to the Secular celebration.. Oh and pick up a plastic Christmas tree and faux headstone on your way…

I really don’t care what you believe in, and I mean that in the nicest possible honey dripped way. Or even, if you choose to not believe in anything…. at least you have an idea in your head and faith in such. I have several beliefs that have mish-moshed themselves into one giant IDEA that keeps me going and believing in the greater good of something. And although the scene that these images are depicting really does make it harder and harder each year to believe that there is SOMETHING beyond the dollars and cents being generated on the masses in the name of economics and all things that encompasses….

It only means that we have to try harder to find something genuine to appreciate about each other, our world and the truck loads of interruptions that are being thrust in front of us on an almost daily basis.

Guest Bird #1 – Amanda

My name is Amanda. I live in San Francisco and write a blog called Brilliant Sulk. I don’t make a penny writing. I wish I did. So I’m forced to earn a living as a personal chef. In my spare time I like to eat cereal, take photographs and dream about moving to Paris. Someday I will.

So here I am. Writing a guest post on this marvelous blog. Why? Well, Ryan asked me because she was in a bit of a bind. Something about a monkey, a few dozen bagels and a cheap flight to Bangkok. I couldn’t quite understand her email. It was littered with exclamation points. !!!!!!! Plus she promised me a year’s subscription to the sauerkraut of the month club. How can a girl resist that?

I happily accepted. She said I could write about anything. Uh oh. She’s so screwed.

I started to think about it and realized I’d have to come up with an actual idea. Unlike my blog, where just about anything goes. This is someone else’s blog.

Should I write about San Francisco? Should I write about the time I hosted a Halloween party, drank five consecutive shots of Goldschlager and ended up on my bedroom floor naked, throwing up. All while I still had guests in the living room? Should I write about how most days I feel that I’m failing miserably as a parent? (Yes, even lunatics can have children) Or how about the fact that I HATE bra shopping and I’ve been wearing the same two bras for three years? Uh. No. Not quite good enough for this blog.

You see, I’m a bit of a procrastinator. A very busy procrastinator. I have two daughters so I’m usually making sure their bowls of water are filled to the brim and their favorite dinner (foie gras jellybean terrine) is on the table by six. But more importantly, I must make sure my husband’s “Ghost Hunters” t-shirts are ironed for the next day at the office.

So I thought it would be best to make a list of potential blog post ideas and narrow them down.

Topics I would not write about:

• The amount of wine I consume in a month’s time
• Math
• How after I gave birth to my first daughter I couldn’t walk for a month because I had so many stitches holding my vagina together
• The proper way to give a one eyed stranger a bubble bath

Topics that might appeal to Ryan’s readers:

• How to choose the right nudist colony for you and your family
• Why as an American I believe I should have the right to make a burrito, text, talk on the phone, color my hair and clean my gun while I drive my Hummer
• Why I allow my children to go out in public wearing their underwear as stylish headwear
• Uh oh. Time’s up? Crap. See? I can’t get anything done.

Oh boy Ryan, aren’t you glad you asked ME to guest post?

Will is finally old enough to go to Pumpkintown, and admittedly, the curiosity was slowly killing me. I drive past this location a few times a week on the way to the studio — Since opening last week Will has shrieked with delight every time we’ve driven past. I think Hank keeps this joint open for a few more weeks, so a few more stops are in order but we made need to hit the alternate routes to avoid stopping every time. A few suggestions should you plan to stop in:

1. Hank only wants you to eat and drink HIS nosh, so keep your pocket tots at home.
2. Be prepared to not be able to get your kids out of the giant wooden playthings that were crafted just exactly too small for any normal sized adult to manage.
3. The pumpkins are a wee bit over-priced.
4. Have crafty bribe ideas for when it’s time to depart…

Throwback post – Hey Kids–Here’s some corn, go get lost…

Okay, okay — I get it. I sat down to start writing and have come to the realization that everything I have to say sounds like a complaint. I sound like a big loser whining about popular culture, design aesthetics, the movie I watched last night, the General Electric guy that left my ENTIRE house smelling like cigs and BO. Why is it that every fix-it man and contractor asks to use our bathroom? What about the house they were at before ours? Then, there is the client that hired me to design something and then took it upon herself to DO IT HERSELF — she probably spent hours on it. Was I not doing it correctly? At least Will is napping – I have that to be grateful for. Happy that the giant Christmas blow up snow-globe with lights and snowmen with green and red holiday hats at BJ’s didn’t scar him for life yesterday afternoon… Just 2 aisles from the giant kettle stirring green witch sitting on a massive blow up Halloween pumpkin, mind you. The weirdos are out during the day on Mondays at BJs – FYI, stick to shopping on the weekends with the crowds.

No – I thought I had plenty to write about today, but it’s all negative and annoying. Like… Mackenzie Phillips and couples that have eight babies, exploit the hell out of them, look around and realize that not enough people are paying attention, so then proceed to bash the hell out of each other all in the name of reality tv fame. Or the new Dinosaur show on PBS that features a T-Rex orphan adopted by a Pteranodon family that rides a supernatural train through the various periods of pre-historia. Dudes. COME ON! Kids might love trains, and they might love dinosaurs, but WHAT? Not only is this show most certainly on CRACK, but what happens when the preschoolers face reality? That the T-REX will EAT his entire adoptive family someday…. Someday SOON!

So, there it is–the few items all meshed into one super annoying post. At least I didn’t drag it out and write about each individual item like I was planning. I’m off to find air-fresheners–lighten it up a little bit.. or maybe, just light it all on fire.

Oh – comments are working again–so go on with your bad self. Yeah, that means you Jazz Hands, bring it.
 

Last year I posted “Then Suddenly..” announcing the mysterious arrival of our pumpkin patch…. Well, I am happy to report that it was not a once in a lifetime phenomenon.

Behold, the return of the pumpkins!

Let it be known that these orange balls of fun will never cease!! Grow seeded wonders, Grow!

We’ve fallen behind on our blog. We are aware of this and appreciate everyone’s concern. There are a number of reasons why we are lagging….. In a nutshell we blame: The Election; Daylight Savings Time; Our Clients (whom we love); The basement absestos removal; The unfinished bathroom at our office; CR 39; The Bank; The Throgs Neck Bridge; The Baby; and Halloween.

Life just became a little more exciting these past few days… We are attempting to get a hold of ourselves…..

Time is precious. We all know this – it goes way too fast. I mean – it is already 10:45 am! How did that happen? Scheduling events also speeds things up. We were just invited to a wedding on December 5th, so I rushed to book my parents to babysit. This is one week and a day after Thanksgiving. Christmas comes a few short (getting darker) 20 days later. What am I going to wear?

The local retailers – more specifically the dreaded grocery store, has already stocked it’s shelves with Halloween candy and pie crusts for Thanksgiving…. I even spied a Christmas wreath on a top shelf…. A barrage of holidays all piled on top of each other in a very disorderly fashion. I think it may thunderstorm today.

In other news… A film crew has moved into Southampton to shoot a new series pilot called Royal Pains, staring Mark Feuerstein…. Thus adding fuel to the already hugely magnified stereotyping of our community. Apparently, Mark plays an NYC MD down on his luck that goes to a party in the Hamptons and wakes up to  be a fabulous personal physician… or something along those lines. I happen to know that my Hamptons doctor never cleans his fish tank and enjoys throwing em’ back at the Publick House.