We have a serious problem… I’ve tried to tell it that being fully erect is not acceptable… I mean.. people are starting to stare. “Error, the lens will not retract, Please restart”. What? Is it trying to tell me something? This part of me that launches full speed on my “GO GO GADGET CAMERA”
command and then explodes out of my chest attached to my third arm..And what brought on this fit of excitement? The shots of Santa? The scenic swans on the ice? The endless obscure pictures that I take of toys, bathroom fixtures and signs? The world’s most handsome 2 year old, or the Bluedog, in all of his stubborn glory? ai-je offensé?
I’m not even going to acknowledge this behavior. Are you finished? Would you mind putting that thing away, because I’m really beginning to get upset… I understand that you are trying to make a statement… that this kind of thing is not actually a dysfunction — more likely it is an internal issue that is keeping you at full attention. OF COURSE I love you, but please– this is a little much. You are NOT old, at least I don’t think you are… Remember when we met? Please, just retract. And what is that noise you’re making?
I didn’t say ABNORMAL, I just think it’s a little off-putting.
Okay, so no – no cooperation on your end… I’m sorry, but we are going to have to do something about this. Christmas is on Friday… I can’t have you hanging around in such a state. You just had to pull this all out now, didn’t you. Perfect timing. Did you try massaging the converter lens? I mean, what will everyone think? No, I don’t want to try something new. I like things the way they are. What are you talking about? I don’t think this is exciting or fun… it’s really annoying actually.
Isn’t there something that you can take to make it go away? I mean, you can’t be comfortable like that. Isn’t this making you a little worried? Because I’m beginning to freak out. What am I supposed to do with you NOW? No, I’m not going back to the iphone camera–I told you that I’m totally dedicated. No, film won’t work for me either–You showed me how to live! PLEASE, don’t DO THIS! I don’t think I can go through another life lesson. I read the book and it doesn’t say anything about…
That’s it. I’m calling for help.
PS Technorati… 5CDJ8JMDKB8D – CLAIM.
