Results tagged "IPhone"

But even as they have both completely let it go for the night, I’m sitting here watching this thing over and over again. Curse the devil that made me buy an iPhone. I will now attempt to embed this little video of love into this blog.

You know the blog where I feel weird about sharing too much about my kids… Yes, that one. Don’t let your heart explode, you know, because of the love.

And it only took me 30 hours to add this clip to my post. What? It’s not like I own a ukulele and post ridiculously cute videos of myself on a weekly basis. That design company I owned came with it’s own PROGRAMMERS. This is all jam and jelly cake to me, YO. Lay the hate down.

But whatever… I hear you. BIG DEAL. The cute kids run and crawl back and forth, laughing, smiling… EMULATING. But…but, but… DON’T YOU SEE IT? They’re both HUGE, and moving around and making noises and attempting to play with each other. It’s called INSANITY, and I am now on the cliffs of thensuch. See you never.

I’ve been busy this and last week with design projects (can I get an AMEN!) and my new passion for becoming a film-maker. Yes. Maker-o-Films. I’m sure all of this excitement will result in mass quantities of manic behavior in the weeks to come, which can only lead to blog abuse. Hold tight.

I took this picture the day before Josephine was born. I remember thinking that I was all wrong about this baby coming earlier than predicted… I even muttered that she was right on for the target date — May 23rd. A few short hours later I was in labor… a few even shorter minutes later, she was here. Now she’s gurgling in a baby “soother” next to me while I type.

Since then, things have become more and more clear despite the rather chaotic scene that surrounds me. But when I say “clear” I have to admit that I’m focused almost entirely on the smallest of small…. Like details that I missed or couldn’t grasp in a pregnancy haze. For example, we had been talking for weeks about finally adding the missing leaf to our kitchen table — so as to allow dining comfort for our growing family and the host of guests that have already been penciled in for the upcoming months. And I know — this is way beyond boring. I mean WHY am I blogging about this? Who cares — and more importantly — WHY ARE YOU READING THIS? But the point isn’t about how small the universe becomes when there is an infant in the room… it’s about how much bigger all of the small things seem to be. While we tried and tried to pull apart the table so as to accommodate the missing leaf, our frustrations grew and grew. Why hadn’t we ever attempted this before? We paid for a big table — were we EVER going to get to use it? The whole thing was beginning to feel like a ShamWOW! commercial when suddenly, whilst I was dozing off for a few minutes in the wee hours, I remembered the latches underneath the table. Unhook them and let the growth begin. In our haste and impatience we had cursed the table to no end when really — all we had to do was look underneath. Life, my friends, should never be so difficult.

Balls are overrated..

Follow-up to “In Desperate Need of Balls” coming soon… – Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:
Southampton,United
States

Care of 1944…

And ideal for the sick room.

We have a serious problem… I’ve tried to tell it that being fully erect is not acceptable… I mean.. people are starting to stare. “Error, the lens will not retract, Please restart”. What? Is it trying to tell me something? This part of me that launches full speed on my “GO GO GADGET CAMERA”
command and then explodes out of my chest attached to my third arm..And what brought on this fit of excitement? The shots of Santa? The scenic swans on the ice? The endless obscure pictures that I take of toys, bathroom fixtures and signs? The world’s most handsome 2 year old, or the Bluedog, in all of his stubborn glory? ai-je offensé?

I’m not even going to acknowledge this behavior. Are you finished? Would you mind putting that thing away, because I’m really beginning to get upset… I understand that you are trying to make a statement… that this kind of thing is not actually a dysfunction — more likely it is an internal issue that is keeping you at full attention. OF COURSE I love you, but please– this is a little much. You are NOT old, at least I don’t think you are… Remember when we met? Please, just retract. And what is that noise you’re making?

I didn’t say ABNORMAL, I just think it’s a little off-putting.

Okay, so no – no cooperation on your end… I’m sorry, but we are going to have to do something about this. Christmas is on Friday… I can’t have you hanging around in such a state. You just had to pull this all out now, didn’t you. Perfect timing. Did you try massaging the converter lens? I mean, what will everyone think? No, I don’t want to try something new. I like things the way they are. What are you talking about? I don’t think this is exciting or fun… it’s really annoying actually. 

Isn’t there something that you can take to make it go away?  I mean, you can’t be comfortable like that. Isn’t this making you a little worried? Because I’m beginning to freak out. What am I supposed to do with you NOW? No, I’m not going back to the iphone camera–I told you that I’m totally dedicated. No, film won’t work for me either–You showed me how to live! PLEASE, don’t DO THIS! I don’t think I can go through another life lesson. I read the book and it doesn’t say anything about…   

That’s it. I’m calling for help.

PS Technorati… 5CDJ8JMDKB8D – CLAIM.