Results tagged "Literature"

OBLIVIOUS
adj.
1. Lacking all memory; forgetful.
2. Lacking conscious awareness; unmindful.
Usage Note: Either of or to can be used with oblivious: The party appeared oblivious to (or of) the mounting pressures for political reform.

Isn’t it comforting to know that we have an of or to choice? Life comes with so few choices.

Because, although I’m oblivious OF many things, I’d like to think that being oblivious TO that fact kind of evens everything out. You know, like a green tea smoothie with a side of bacon. Mr. Oblivious does a nice job summing it up with Up, which on any given day might just be the story of my life…juxtapositionally (yes, that’s my word) speaking.  But then again, maybe my oblivion is under an influence… (via Mr. Oblivious, of course).

The time has come!

My sister Annie and her longtime love, Rob, are getting married on Sunday. So — let’s all think fun, lovely thoughts about romance and bright lights in the city… About family and looovvvee and all things happy matrimony… This is the moment we’ve been waiting for. Please raise your glasses… To Annie and Rob…

Dear Mr. Cruise,

In 1995 I worked the Client Services desk at the flagship Tiffany store in Mid-town Manhattan. It was an interesting position where clientele of the store would pick up their engraved items from my station — not quite a sales job — more important I would like to think, although lacking in commission. The job also offered certain perks — the ins and outs of a fabled department store, learning to tie the perfect bow, mingling with artists and top designers and of course celebrity sightings. When I think about it… the list could start and end with Madonna, who stopped in to buy a pen. But there were several others on the ranging scale… Chris Farley, Donald Trump, Susan Lucci, Jerry Lewis… to name a few. It was common to see them coming and going.. most with entourages, all desiring the star attraction. But that was just 1995.

Throughout my life I have seen and even spoken to people that are considered famed. Among the droves, a misplaced few that come to mind are Kirstie Alley, Scott Weiland, Gwyneth Paltrow, Guliani, Angela Lansbury and that lady that played Janice on the Sopranos. Alec Baldwin, John Updike, JFK Jr., John Chamberlain, Moby, Stephanie Seymour, James Lipton, Kelly Ripa, Ina Garten, Bloomberg, Howard Stern and wife, Don Imus and wife, Kristie Brinkley. Bob Rauschenberg — who critiqued my work thus causing my head to explode. I see Matt Lauer on a regular basis… and yes, he is THAT annoying.

When I was a kid I rode in an elevator ALONE with George C. Scott and he
scared the shit out of me.

I’ve been there. I know these people are all artists, entertainers and public figures that somehow go home at the end of the day and become normal — And although I can’t quite wrap my head around how possible that is, this all being said, I apologize. Because when you and your daughter walked in front of my car at the intersection of Hampton Road and Main, I lost my marbs. I wrangled for my iphone. I tweeted, I facebooked, I texted. I called my Mom. I let the small world that I live in be known that you were there in front of me. There you were. And although I don’t really like all of the movies or roles that you’ve chosen, Jerry Maguire was classic… despite being a chick movie. Your role in Tropic Thunder moved me and I don’t think any of us will ever get over Top Gun — despite your being paired with a woman three times your size. I whored you out with the tools of social media, and I admit my guilt.

So what do you say? Now that I’ve blogged about it among the thousands and know full well that you had no idea that I was there… and you couldn’t care less about this… What do you say we move to the first name basis, there Tom. Now that we shared that completely not-intimate not-a-moment… because you’re the first among many to make me act like a complete weirdo when faced with wait.. who? is that? and then drop the ball and act totally silly for about 20 minutes. And if this is enough ass-kissing for someone that is not a die-hard fan for, then I don’t know what is. Yes Tom, you are THAT good.

Sincerely,
Ry Sal

PS. In no way did the hot pink trench coat draw ANY attention to your daughter. Good job remaining inconspicuous. 

How are you?

I’ve been thinking about our conversation — about how you think that Picasso wasn’t really a bad guy, he just had commitment issues, and I really have to disagree with your juxtaposition on the Tiger Woods matter — but you are entitled to your opinion. Is it at all possible that the Olympics have gone to your well frosted head? Too much up close and personal?  Or are you just intimidated by Z-Germans? Because although they are undeniably günter höhne, I suspect they might be all talk and no show. But that’s just me.

You know what else IS me? Closing one company and opening another in a span of three weeks… with a 2 year old sitting on my lap, while I design logos with one eye and bake dairy and egg free chocolate cupcakes with the other. Literally. And, as I look out the window I see glops of white starting to mix in with the monsoon. With one office half moved out and the other half moved in and décor resources beginning to haunt. Because Martha I am not, and I’m kinda happy about that. But what about you, Cupcake?

Enough about me. Let’s talk about you.

How was your trip to Egypt and your journey to the center of the earth? Was it anything like the movie? And what did you and The Queen talk about? Did you dazzle her with your experience as Gordon Sumner’s Sommelier… The Peace keeping battle where you carried Bono to the sidelines in what you panicked to be near death–only to realize that it was nothing but a drunken stupor? Or did you just go on and on about America’s Next Top Model like you usually do? You really should allow yourself to take credit for all that you have accomplished… I mean you are only 20 minutes old — and I know this is just touching on half of the story.

There was the time that Lloyd Dobler stood in the rain in anguish over his broken heart… gripping his pen? One can only assume. But, dear Cupcake, the point of my letter is getting lost in the fodder of “where are we now”? Because to come full circle would require more than a burning flag, James Joyce and the Easter Bunny. No. We need something much stronger and more organized… Something to inject life into the icing on top… Something with promise and compassion… Something for completion… with texture. Beyond all cause, and hold off the guard…before I start to make sense… Because, we need sprinkles.   

Yes – it’s the truth. And because of this fact, my mind decided to leave my body and go on a little vaca — thus leaving the rest of me to fend for itself in this merciless society that spends countless hours of judging itself. I’m not clear on the reasons, exactly, for the departure… being mindless at the moment… but I think it had something to do with a massive dumping of obscure golfer behaviors paired with Sid the Scientist’s cracked out Grandma doing the Chicken Dance with Elmo. Not to mention that a bastard-red headed demon of a camp owner was just caught stealing some of my design work — Merry Christmas…. let the bad PR elf dance all over your 4′ self. Things have been a little up and down. A little bald hairy. A little POP CULTURE.

And so, as I digress. If you need me, I’ll be under the dining room table with my Etch-A-Sketch and clementines, hugging the bottle of Chardonnay with bunny ears on in preparation for Easter. 

I can take a smack down better than most, but when LZ aka My Messy Paradise and Eric Striffler aka http://www.striffler.com & http://www.striffler.com/weddings.html, both answered HAWAII within the same 1/2 hour, I was floored.  LZ answered via comments and Eric via Facebook – I’ve tried to decipher which answered first but all I can get is within that same 1/2 hour… so CONGRATULATIONS TO BOTH. Interviews will proceed sometime in the next 2 weeks. Okay okay… so perhaps this was a little obvious, but wasn’t it fun too?

Soooo… Now what? I was hoping that this contest would last longer than 1 hour into publishing time. smart-asses, so here’s another Guessing Game for the long weekend.

WHERE IS THIS?

What STATE, in the great U S of A was this picture taken?

1. Guesstimate the closest STATE this picture was taken in.
2. Guess as many times as you would like.
3. The first person to answer correctly will be interviewed for an upcoming For The Birds “Bird Watcher Profile” post. Read the most recently published, it was a blast!
4. Then I will promote the hell out of your story for a week.
5. All about you. 
6. I am no joke about promotion. 
7. Game ends November 29, 2009 – the closest guesstimate location wins… exact preferred.
8. If you won the last guessing game here at For the Birds (LZ & Eric), you can play but you can’t win– you can suggest the right answers (if you can’t control yourself).
9. If you were with me when this was taken, you can’t play–I promise to be more original next time.

Bogus Original Post:

Guest Bird #6 – Jillian

Hello everyone,
I have a Blog titled, Is Dis Normal or Dysfunctional and it humorously documents the ironic reality of what happens when you mix true love with children and family living in Aspen, Colorado.

I hope that you enjoy my post and if you want more from where that came from, I would love to have you stop by my website which can be found at: http://isdisnormal.com.

Can you find me?

1. Find me in this picture.
2. Name the city that I am in.
3. Guesstimate the closest year this picture was taken.
4. Guess as many times as you would like.
5. If you answer correctly, I will interview you for an upcoming For The Birds “Bird Watcher Profile” post.
6. Then I will promote the hell out of your story for a week.
7. All about you. 
8. I am no joke about promotion. 
9. Game ends with the right answers.
10. If you were with me when this photo was taken, you can’t play.
11. Mom, Dad… You can’t play either.

Photography by Photog Melanie Zobian

Meanwhile, I’m guesting over at Guest Bird Robin’s blog.. I like her, she’s spunky.