Results tagged "People and Society"

Before the New Year began I reached out and asked my readers to tell me about their 2009 experience and hopes for 2010. If you missed it, read it here. It was during the receipt of several dismal responses that I realized that 2009 was not so great for everyone… Most of the responses were so blatantly pathetic and whiny that I decided not to publish them. Out of the few that I did publish… and because of my growing obsession with the readers of this blog (just who are you anyway?) I chose from the authors at random for this interview… I knew what I was getting into–A Vapid Blonde was a contender… A woman whose blog I read and admire if not for her direct wit and sarcastic observations… but for her enviable ability to swear like a sailor — dropping the “F” word left and right… sometimes compiling several instances of the word to form complete sentences… It is her writing that I turn to read when I find myself cursing and looking for new ways to express myself… When Vapid’s name was selected.. my ears burned a little…

Watching the latest blizzard blow through the Berkshires, I felt a chill as the diner door opened… Why am I sitting with my back to the door?… I heard her laugh as I turned… she tossed her keys on the table… sitting across from me she smiled and said “Fucking Snow“… The interview began..

Let’s just get this out of the way… What is your favorite curse word? MOTHER FUCKER, heh I bet you never would have guessed that! I think I’ll be hearing it in that exact tone for the rest of the day. It actually makes me grin from ear to ear when ever I say it!

It is always nice to know that we have options.

Happy New Year!

So, we were watching TV last night… and well, nothing was on–so we turned to the Food Network… always a good standby. It was Diners Drive-ins & Dives with that funny-haired fella that I swear, is seriously holding back his inner GAY. I know he’s married… but so is Will Smith and Brad Pitt… wait, Brad Pitt isn’t married… what’s going on there? GAY. I said it here first… Unless you said it before me… isn’t there anything original anymore? So.. anyway, the GUY named GUY on “Triple D” (ew) was bouncing off the walls over some sort of fleshy overcooked meat when he picked up a plastic dipping cup and drank the Au Jus. I said–out loud–”HE JUST DRANK THE AU JUS…” and then it occurred to me that New Year’s is next week.
Well here we are. Time sure does fly, doesn’t it! What were you thinking this time last year? Were you excited about 2009? Were you looking forward to all good things to come or were you dreading the days ahead? For me – 2009 was one massive battle of good vs. evil… demons and angels… sweet & sour vs. hot & spicy. There was always an antithesis of each particular moment… looking down at me from way up high… getting ready to launch the next throw down test of strengths and weaknesses… HOW WILL SHE DEAL WITH THIS!!! Aaaa – aHAHAHA. I lost a lot of the fights–but I feel that those I conquered were the ones that really counted…. And while the professional side of life was not-so-slowly sliding downward… Will was always there and it was impossible to think that anything else was even remotely important. While clients, and then inevitably I, decided to stop fighting and close the doors on what were once fruitful and booming livelihoods… My family brought endless joy… I reconnected with old friends… I made many many new friends, and I learned more about myself than I ever would have if everything else wasn’t falling apart.  In retrospect, now that this post has turned to total cheese… whipped creamed cheese that is… 2009 was the best worst year of my life.

And there it is.

So what about you? How was your 2009? Was it loud and obnoxious or loosey goosey? Did you take all of your money out of the bank and bury it somewhere? Or did you throw all caution to the wind and DRINK THE AU JUS? And what about this new fangled thing called 2010–any thoughts there?

I want to know. So tell me… tell me the best worst of your 2009 and then a little of what 2010 can do for you… tell me and I’ll…. throw all the answers into a hat and randomly (drum roll…) Pick the best of the best of the worst of the best and….

1. Interview you for an upcoming For The Birds “Bird Watcher Profile” post.If you haven’t heard, these are tons of fun.. Here’s one and Here’s another. Come on – be the 1st in 2010.
2. Then I will promote the hell out of your story for a week.
3. All about you. 
4. I am no joke about promotion. 
5. Game ends sometime before 2010.
6. If I’ve interviewed you before, please participate as well.

Please note that we are launching our annual SAVE RUDOLPH protest, roof-side–starting tonight… so this post will be up for a few days… 

We have a serious problem… I’ve tried to tell it that being fully erect is not acceptable… I mean.. people are starting to stare. “Error, the lens will not retract, Please restart”. What? Is it trying to tell me something? This part of me that launches full speed on my “GO GO GADGET CAMERA”
command and then explodes out of my chest attached to my third arm..And what brought on this fit of excitement? The shots of Santa? The scenic swans on the ice? The endless obscure pictures that I take of toys, bathroom fixtures and signs? The world’s most handsome 2 year old, or the Bluedog, in all of his stubborn glory? ai-je offensé?

I’m not even going to acknowledge this behavior. Are you finished? Would you mind putting that thing away, because I’m really beginning to get upset… I understand that you are trying to make a statement… that this kind of thing is not actually a dysfunction — more likely it is an internal issue that is keeping you at full attention. OF COURSE I love you, but please– this is a little much. You are NOT old, at least I don’t think you are… Remember when we met? Please, just retract. And what is that noise you’re making?

I didn’t say ABNORMAL, I just think it’s a little off-putting.

Okay, so no – no cooperation on your end… I’m sorry, but we are going to have to do something about this. Christmas is on Friday… I can’t have you hanging around in such a state. You just had to pull this all out now, didn’t you. Perfect timing. Did you try massaging the converter lens? I mean, what will everyone think? No, I don’t want to try something new. I like things the way they are. What are you talking about? I don’t think this is exciting or fun… it’s really annoying actually. 

Isn’t there something that you can take to make it go away?  I mean, you can’t be comfortable like that. Isn’t this making you a little worried? Because I’m beginning to freak out. What am I supposed to do with you NOW? No, I’m not going back to the iphone camera–I told you that I’m totally dedicated. No, film won’t work for me either–You showed me how to live! PLEASE, don’t DO THIS! I don’t think I can go through another life lesson. I read the book and it doesn’t say anything about…   

That’s it. I’m calling for help.

PS Technorati… 5CDJ8JMDKB8D – CLAIM. 

Yes – it’s the truth. And because of this fact, my mind decided to leave my body and go on a little vaca — thus leaving the rest of me to fend for itself in this merciless society that spends countless hours of judging itself. I’m not clear on the reasons, exactly, for the departure… being mindless at the moment… but I think it had something to do with a massive dumping of obscure golfer behaviors paired with Sid the Scientist’s cracked out Grandma doing the Chicken Dance with Elmo. Not to mention that a bastard-red headed demon of a camp owner was just caught stealing some of my design work — Merry Christmas…. let the bad PR elf dance all over your 4′ self. Things have been a little up and down. A little bald hairy. A little POP CULTURE.

And so, as I digress. If you need me, I’ll be under the dining room table with my Etch-A-Sketch and clementines, hugging the bottle of Chardonnay with bunny ears on in preparation for Easter. 

HUGE Yawn, Stretch, blink, blink. It’s Tuesday – most of the nation just celebrated Thanksgiving with a 5 day weekend. Why so sleepy? Was it really that tough? Eating – drinking – eating – drinking… laughing, enjoying… eating, drinking… sitting around, catching up, watching football… eating, drinking… playing with kids, not working, watching the snow fall… riding in the car… heating up leftovers… so sleepy.

In other news, we’ve seen a major flux of traffic here at For the Birds… people from all over are reading our cryptic little nuances – Durango CO, Ashburn VA, Stockholm, Bermuda… and a few other interesting locals… Drop us a note next time your on…

A few months back we posted a note about the lovely speed limit signage that garnish our Hamptons gateways… We even had a little fun with it online… This being said… Wednesday night’s vandals (who we predict, will be caught–unfortunately) made us laugh all the way to Manorville… Then again during drinks on Thanksgiving in CT… Then again during leftovers in Massachusetts… Then again upon our East End return last night.

I find it hard to believe that the SHPD allowed such embarrassment to hang over a holiday weekend – but perhaps they found it endearing that people still cared enough to plan such a feat.

Kudos to the brave that risked their tails in the name of a little dark humor. We look forward to the onslaught…

West Facing

 

East Facing

Breakwater’s Take…

We’ve fallen behind on our blog. We are aware of this and appreciate everyone’s concern. There are a number of reasons why we are lagging….. In a nutshell we blame: The Election; Daylight Savings Time; Our Clients (whom we love); The basement absestos removal; The unfinished bathroom at our office; CR 39; The Bank; The Throgs Neck Bridge; The Baby; and Halloween.

Life just became a little more exciting these past few days… We are attempting to get a hold of ourselves…..