Results tagged "Pottery Barn"

I had a little time to myself yesterday morning, so I decided to finally retouch this picture I took over the weekend. Once that was done I blew it up to a completely obnoxious size, printed it out on seriously nice watercolor paper and then sent it out to be framed. I’m calling it art. And when a few generations pass, I can’t wait for my great great great grandkids to question… what the F is so great about this manhole cover, and isn’t retouching so eighty years ago…  Because there really isn’t an answer.

So after I finished with my little art project, I moved on to editing (laughable) yesterday’s post, of which I actually wrote on Tuesday. I was also waiting for a delivery of the baby’s crib to arrive somewhere between 11 and 1. The editing process (I know, again — laughable) began around 10am after Will had gone off to work with Mr. Sal. I was enjoying this free time when noticed a drunk possum meandering through the backyard…. in broad daylight– sick as can be. And I know — possums are harmless. They eat fruit and berries and whatnot.. But let me not hesitate a minute more to tell you that I HATE POSSUMS… with their albino white coats and rat tails… red eyes and ((shudder)) uncanny silence. And this one was clearly rabid. While I was calling someone to come and assist in the removal of said ghostly rodent, Mr. Sal had returned with a rather unhappy Will — apparently someone at the office had haphazardly left things out of place and a piece of EQUIPMENT had fallen on the boy. What? Equipment — as I visualize a 800 ton John Deere tractor dropping out of midair — EQUIPMENT??! You mean like a fax machine or can opener or something, right… something tiny like a coffee bean grinder or pencil sharpener… with my list of tiny office equipment options growing smaller and smaller… But before I could get my answer — the doorbell rang with the crib delivery.

Will was fine (first of all) with only ONE scratch — that I will never forget. But the whole incident had been sidetracked by the delivery guys that had taken over the upstairs in the assembly of the crib. And I know — but Will’s crib was recalled, so we had to buy a new one. It’s white, and I’m totally aware of the ramifications of owning a white crib. BECAUSE the baby is going to have to sleep somewhere and it sure as hell isn’t with us. AND YES, I just SAID THAT. Will is a perfectly adjusted 3 year old despite always having had his own bed. AND REALLY – — Like this is of ANY importance… POTTERY BARN. Okay? Rude, much?

Will and I caught up with the two delivery guys just as they were finishing when I noticed that the piece of furniture was not the same crib as the one we had ordered… Immediately annoyed, one of the men asked to use the bathroom, while I started going through the order and SKU numbers etc… The other delivery guy was already on his way out to the truck saying, in limited English, for us to keep the crib — that he wasn’t going to take it apart… it was nicer, anyway — don’t I want it? But that wasn’t the point… and so as Will started riding his big wheel around the house, I picked up the phone to call Pottery Barn… I was about 15 minutes into holding for the first available operator (because my call was important to them)…while unwillingly chatting with the delivery man about the new baby in my limited Spanish…  When BANG BANG — two shots were fired in the backyard… I jumped, hanging up the phone… Will, myself and the lone delivery man ran to the back of the house to see the exterminator removing the beast of a possum. And as the guilt for the dead possum started to sink into my consciousness, the delivery guy started yelling up the stairs to his partner that had been in the bathroom for about a half an hour. It was noon — Will asked me for lunch.

Today I have an actual human foot sticking out of my belly. And if that’s too much information for you, how about that man-hole cover?

The consensus that I’m getting is that everyone is a little stressed out. Here is a fine example… and another… I’m feeling it too – as you know.. I wrote about it here, here and here. So, what can we do about it? “The Holidays” are supposed to be fulfilling… fun, cheer, love, presents, bodily warmth that can’t be explained (or is that just me?)… but alas – we all seem to have let LIFE into the scene and that makes for no fun. So.. what are we going to do? All muck about and complain? Well – apparently yes… unless we cancel the holidays… kicking Ol’ Saint Nick off the wagon into an unbridaled downward spiral… breaking things and scaring Rudolf. Poor, poor reindeer. And so, dear friends, I am afraid that there isn’t an answer to solve this holiday thing. It simply is not curable… unless you’re hanging out with me, of course (insert really scary laugh)… There is just nothing that can be done–so keep on keeping on, swearing and spitting on your own floors… just keep in mind that once Jan 2nd arrives, it isn’t over… The Holidays are merciless, and will return with a vengeance next year… if only to ensure vindication.. and the year after that.. and the year…

So… this all being said. Let’s all take a big swig of that bloody Bloody Mary and talk about something really really ground breaking… I HAVE A NEW BATHROOM…

Yep… whirling again.

Unlike most things in my life, I didn’t have the inspiring..”I’ll BLOG about this” thought in my head when we started the REDO – so I don’t have an actual picture of the bizarreness that was our “common” off the TV room bathroom… after a while we just used it as a drying rack. But here is my 2 minute rendering…

I know, but the ART is not for sale.

So.. we never used the shower because we have other showers in our house where the door doesn’t get all caught up in the cabinet doors.. and we rarely touched the toilet because we like to keep our feet on the floor rather than up against the shower glass when doing so. The people that lived in our house before us were of normal size – we’ve heard… so we will never understand how they managed to navigate this room comfortably… but hey, maybe they were into “it”.

Entering the room, this is the first thing that you see… We removed the shower and the tile floor and brought in hard wood to match the rest of the house.. Then we added molding and wainscotting (please note that I use the term “we” loosely.. thank you, Mr. Sal). The paint we had left over from another REDiD, which was great because it seemed silly to buy it for such a small space..

Notice the lovely off-centeredness of myself, the light fixture, mirror and sink.. I’d like to say that we did this intentionally in a tribute metaphor of the likeness of being… but that would be a total lie. I’m not totally sold on this mirror, by the way… I just couldn’t pass up the $49.99 @ Pier One Imports. Light fixture – Pottery Barn Outlet via Riverhead…cheap.

This BEAUT was also purchased at the PBO via Riverhead… a little on the pricey side, but it’s a super heavy piece of furniture, which for some reason – made it attractive. It’s currently being used as a changing table… although the boy is somewhat equal in length, so not for much longer. It is part of the Pottery Barn’s attempt to break into teenager home furnishings… You know, because teens are so into decor.

The TUB (insert angels singing)

If you live in the North East and have not heard of or been to United House Wrecking (UHW) in Stamford, CT… Stop reading this and get in your car and go there right now. My Mom and I found this 4′ bathtub last winter for the bargain price of $600. It was born in 1916 — imagine all the naked bodies that have bathed in its glory. Mr. Sal – who carried it home to Southampton on his back, swindled it for $500. It has feet, so one would assume that it can walk… which is good because it is coming with us everywhere we go for the rest of our lives.

Toilet. Because we had to.

This is a water color print of Portsmouth, New Hampshire where we once reigned supreme. We loved it there… Except for in winter.. when my face would freeze in the most unusual expressions. 

These lovely prints are by L. Young Studio… 

And, of course, the budding family artist… what would a room be without him?

That’s it! New bathroom, homespun greatness – just the perfect imperfections to be called our own… So, come on over if for no other reason than to USE OUR BATHROOM!