Results tagged "Reality television"

At least that’s what I thought Kathie Lee said as I walked past the Today Show on our TV this morning.

What a GRAB! Those marketing geniuses… Just look at the brains on them as the seedier side of America lit up… FINALLY. The answers that we are ALL WAITING FOR. Because marriage isn’t important anymore — That is, unless you’re a reality TV star… As my Dad asks the same thing we are all questioning — Just who the Hell is Kim Kardashian? And WHY, exactly, is she famous? Please note the usage of ‘exactly’ in that question — people have lost serious positions in life for utilizing that word as such. And, no. I didn’t have to use the word ‘Hell’ either, but since we are bringing up the whole “Affair” idea, I thought it was appropriate despite the fact that you might have gone the other way. So there.

And, yes. My fingers are bunny-hopping the quotation marks all over the place with this…. Just like that girl, Sheila.

But no. As it turns out… Because I didn’t actually wait to watch and hear about ‘How to have an affair and get away with it’. Instead I thought, ‘HUH – Isn’t this a NEW WAY TO GO’ and gasped slightly while making some sort of inept bore-hog snorting sound that made the baby cry. I didn’t hang out to hear what the segment was really about, during the drunk section of the Today Show staring Kathie Lee and Hoda, and I was about to write a mad post about humanity, faithfulness and the moral values of media… in society… AS A WHOLE. As Kathie and Hoda threw another few back… IS NOTHING SACRED? But then, I couldn’t stop thinking about it and decided to put the angry away and actually went to find the transcript of the show where I found out that I was wrong. Misled. LIED TO. No. The segment was actually about having an affair with YOUR OWN HUSBAND. Right! Because that is the way to ‘…rediscover passion and romance with your spouse.’ Which is fine. Do it. I’M ALL FOR IT.

However, as I dim the lights and bring my voice to a respectable whisper and let my eyeballs get all scary. Dare I say that I am disappointed in not getting to see how low they all really can go… Right? RIGHT?! Because they were all LET’S TRICK SOCIETY INTO THINKING THAT WE ARE ABOUT TO TELL THEM HOW TO CHEAT SUCCESSFULLY. That will get them to tune in to where, apparently — THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT. And, again, no. I’m not interested in finding out how to get away with having an affair, let alone having an affair….Or getting caught. As I giggle about the thought of even thinking about the idea of such a notion. I really do believe in love, trust, honesty and all that jazz… which, apparently NBC does too, maybe — but not without the trailer of SCANDAL — a little test of how people can lean one way and then the other… YOU TOO CAN GET AWAY WITH IT! And then they tricked you into thinking that they were actually going to tell you how. The brains on them.

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During a conversation yesterday I mentioned that For the Birds was quoted this week on Forbes.com – the Forbes Woman Community to be exact… a beautiful collection of worldly topics on all things being woman. A nice “how do you do” to the ladies of Tiger Woods attempting to throw us back to the good ol’ ancient Mesopotamian times when it was part of the routine to look yourself in the mirror, say – yeah he’s married and kind of a jerk, but he has zillions and maybe, just maybe I can get a reality show out out of this… Or at least a few minutes on Access Hollywood–Damn I love that Billy Bush…. Quick, I need to make myself look almost man-like, with boobs, killer jaw and hair extensions… okay… now, bigger lips–spray that tan all over… And TA-DA!… Yes, you too can go out and build your very own fame via megaloid sex-addicted celebrity super stars. It is that easy.. Just look at Ashley Dupre… the new columnist at the New York Post… don’t those glasses make her look smart? But I digress…

During a conversation yesterday I was chatting with my friend Mari, over at Small for Big, about how For the Birds was
quoted this week on Forbes.com – the Forbes Woman Community to be exact. She replied, “Forbes.com? niiiiiiiiice.  Maybe I should be a mommy-blogger after all.” My eyes grew huge.. I mean HUGE… Mommy-blogger! MOMMY-BLOGGER! NOOOOOOoooooooo! I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with it. Not that there’s anything wrong with going online and dictating verbatim every living second and movement and FEELING (ew feelings) that I have as a relatively new mom… Not that there’s anything wrong with splashing each and every image and/or video of my child online for EVERYONE to see. Every moment… panting.. I’m panting… water! – sparkling lemon effervescence water… whew.

Wait. I don’t do any of those things.. okay maybe one or two of them. But how could I not mention the the world’s most AMAZING 2 year old every once in a while… okay maybe a little bit more than that.. okay, so maybe every other post.. or ALL THE TIME. Like now.

So, while questioning my entire existence on the internet, I asked Mari, “IS THAT WHAT I AM!” and then reached into my MacPro and pulled out the blog, guts-n-all and headed towards the shredder–MOMMY-BLOGGER! I’ve been defined! HOW CAN IT POSSIBLY GO ON! As I threw the blog down the stairs.. it bounced and cried out… “I’M NOT A MOMMY-BLOG, I’M NOT! I’M ANYTHING YOU WANT ME TO BE…” And as I reached into the toy box for the wiffle bat… it occurred to me. I’m okay with it. Mommy-Blogger I might be… but this blog is about so many other things (ahem, ME) that it simply can’t be just one definition… and then Mari replied, “Frankly, I hate the term. Demeaning somehow. So no, of course that’s not what you are, you are ten times more than that. Me too.”

And with that, it was settled. The term is demeaning… because there are more Mommy-Blogs out there than there are Humans on this planet… To say it insinuates that the design is homespun, the stories are 2-cent and the humor is.. well “nice”, and chances are there are contests, coupons, and mediocre product reviews.. OH MY!… AND, it puts all the words, views, rants and stories into one big massive rolling sphere–LOTS of talking… and not a lot of doing… BUT, in the true definition of a “weblog” – a personal diary made public, there are also TONS of great blogs out there… Blogs like this one (yeah, its all going to my head–Let them EAT CAKE!)… Women that mention their kids here and there… every once in a while… focusing on life and pop culture like the ladies of all things Tiger… or simply LIFE in general… life, you know, being so unpredictable. So who are we?

The answer… after a series of drafts, research and hair pulling… is as complex as it is simple… Do what you want, obviously, but in the world of constant defining and redefining, if you have something to say… Blog about it, but avoid the Mommy-Blog status, remain unique… personal and blog eclectic. 

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