Results tagged "Recreation"

And Spring Break. So… I have no time this week, although I did take this picture (gratuitous self-back pat). I managed to convince the Eastern Long Island wind to die down to about 50 miles per hour, twisted my upper half into a pretzel-like position, balanced the soon to be 1-year old in my left hand while occupying the 4-year old with my right foot — stuck my tongue out for ultimate concentration and clicked. The good news is that, day 3 into staycation, and I’m only beginning to wonder about what to do next — Meanwhile, he’s only asked to go back to school about 900 times. What do those disturbingly happy preschool teachers have that I don’t, huh?

In other news — take a look at this nice little pluggy plug from Studio 30+ — Doesn’t it make me sound a-m-a-z-i-n-g? The praise isn’t going my head. Nope. NOT AT ALL.

Mr. Sal: Wouldn’t this be awesome?

Me (without hesitating– an immediate response): But what if we have to get out?

Mr. Sal: Get out of… the boat?

Me (starting to panic): No. Just out. What if we have to get out? There’s no way out of there. It’s all Earth — all high and no way to walk straight up without having to climb. I’m not a climber — are you? I mean I guess I could climb. I’m not completely out of shape, but I’d hate to run out of breath — it doesn’t look like there’s a lot of air down there. There’s no “release”. But what if we run out of water? We’d need a supply raft. My Aunt goes on these rafting trips all the time and I know she packs like four extra rafts full of drinking water.

They have vultures there too you know.

And here we are. A new year.

Fresh. New. Untouched. Unaffected. And oddly — feeling almost exactly like it did last year.

But that’s not reason to worry. Feeling the same as it did less than a week ago isn’t a bad thing, right? We aren’t supposed to run around changing EVERYTHING immediately, right? I mean… I suppose there are freaks people out there that say “I’M CHANGING, DAMMIT” and then, BOOM, everything is different. There’s nothing seemingly wrong with taking our time. Deciding that we want to do something, think about it… patiently… toil over the details while moving in slow motion. Quietly making the necessary adjustments before we LEAP FORWARD into new things. And I know you were picturing a graceful gazelle just now as I said ‘LEAP FORWARD’… because we are talking about the visions in my mind — and you need to see things as I’m seeing them if we are going to embark on anything together — and in no way am I referencing a leap “year”. Because I don’t think I could handle losing one entire day in 2012. No. No empty, invisible, take-away days — because this is going to be the YEAR OF ME. And you’re coming too.

I’m thinking about making some changes, and since these are life long — they do NOT fall into the evil and ever-failing RESOLUTIONS category. And — I’m not just talking about the small stuff, like this is the last Coca Cola I will EVER drink. No. I’m talking about things that would normally fall on a “Life List”, which is something that I have mentioned in “They’re safe easy to clean and do not cause unpleasant buffeting”, (those were the days)… I’m talking about speeding up the process and, for almost the first time ever, TAKING MYSELF SERIOUSLY. Like — No more soda really means NO MORE HIGH FRUCTOSE ANYTHING…. And, while we’re at it, LEARN TO WINDSURF. But there really isn’t a rhyme or reason to any of this. AND I’m going big, at least for me. Way beyond the Ten Its. My attempts to formulate a list of things that I want to accomplish in the next 40-50 years (if I’m lucky) ranges from the absurd — Sleep through the night… to the mundane — Put Christmas away… to the balls out impossible — DO SOMETHING BIGger than before (I’m open for suggestions). So, I’m speeding it up and giving myself 365 days — although I’ve already lost 4 in the planning stage. So, starting NOW. Okay. After I finish this coke.

And I know. YEAR OF ME, sounds kind of selfish and completely unoriginal. And I totally agree. I completely ripped the idea off from The Summer of George on a Seinfeld rerun the other night. Only — as we all know, the Summer of George was a failed endeavor which saw Mr. Costanza in rehabilitation to regain his ability to walk. I know. NOT FUNNY. But it totally was. Even after watching it for the 40,000th time. His only mistake was that he attempted to do it all alone. Of which, I would never do. Because, yes. I love you too.

And so… as I need to get going on a few things. I am starting the list right now. Please note that this list will change — grow and hopefully shrink with cross-outs as I SUCCEED AT EVERYTHING I TRY. Also, please note that from the boring to the laugh your ass off NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN items all fall in no particular order. Because, that, my friends is life.

• Read all the books in my house before buying new ones
• Quit High Fructose Everything
• Breathe while eating and enjoy every bite
• Walks
• Share a picture everyday
• Teach Will to read
• Teach Jo to walk AND talk
• Not so much spending
• Learn to Windsurf
• Redesign this Blog
• Travel with the Kids
• Relearn CPR
• More NYC
• Go fishing
• Will’s Kitchen, the book
• Bronx Zoo
• Write a Screenplay
• Find the right babysitter (and hire her/him)
• Find my Medium
• Garden. For real.
• Go to the Openings
• Turn conversational Spanish into fluent
• Make edible egg free pasta
• Meet Martha
• Get Jo to sleep in her own bed
• Take more pictures
• Find the right, regular, paying gig

((Huge Sigh))

There she is. Taking my picture again.

Can’t a dog just take a nap around here without interruption? I mean — I already wag my tail around these kids that she allows to stay in the house, can’t I just have one moment of peace? I know, I know. She’s all happy and proud because the vet said that I lost nine pounds. As if that’s anything to be surprised about… My last appointment was 6 months ago — What? Doesn’t she know that unlike a certain 3 year old around here, I listen?!

And she’s happy like ALL THE TIME.

Remember when she worked in an office? How whack was that? All the screaming over the telephone about press proofs and color matches…UGH – and the money. I mean it smells nice but I never did get the point. I did all I could by laying my head on her lap to calm the crazy down. But now. Taking my picture again. Hopefully this time she won’t go and post it all over the internet like she did last winter when I was “fat”. Hasn’t anyone ever heard of a “winter coat”.

And yes. I get that she loves me…. Despite the fact that she moved my dogbed four inches to the left…. Not the one in the TV room, the other one that I sometimes remove the stuffing from. Because, if that “new one” is going to scream about absolutely nothing, can’t I let out a little frustration every once in a while?

But I’m not some pathetic character dog that enjoys social media and internet attention. Because. I’m stout, stoic, and if being eleven years old hasn’t taught anyone around here anything — I’m in charge.. And I’m not going to stand for all of this laughing and playing around all the time. Don’t people know how to control themselves? Just the other day that 3 year old had a water pistol and thought it would be fun to test it out on me. And you know what? I let him. And I smiled the whole time. Dammit.

All I want is for everyone to behave. And bacon. I’d really like some — Did she ever think of that?

Because, clearly, I have no idea.

It all started last week when M emailed me about a job opening at his web company. And no, this isn’t going to be some story about how I was offered something fabulous that sent me off into a personal struggle over life and overall existence which left me pale and useless–Languishing under the dining room table… clutching a bottle of chardonnay, thinking that if only there were an appropriate way to use the word “ass-hat” in a sentence. And in no way is there anything wrong with that.

Because, what I didn’t know — and what I thought no one else knew is that “Doing It Yourself” is a trend that has evolved into something way beyond anything anyone could have imagined… AND it’s not in a galaxy far far away — it’s right here in front of us… Mostly on M’s website where he employs (for real dollars) creative thinkers to blog about their DIY projects — all very interestingly COOL and retro — Like unannoying hipsters that somehow make it possible to exist without a carbon footprint, still give the appearance of having a lot of money while never running out of time to accomplish EVERYTHING in 24 hours. Remember — these are the unannoying ones that you really want to hate but can’t. Not the smelly ones that are trying to smell. Regardless, if you know where I’m going with this, and I think you do, M’s website is out there — blaringly awesome and completely lacking in all things ass-hat. And I would provide a link to M’s website, but after reading this — he may want to be saved the emotional state of having offered the position to me. Which is where my quagmire finds me entering a picture that I have no business even looking at.

Because I don’t know how to DIY. I mean, yes. There are the graphic design projects, thousands of them… but without going into too much technical detail about doing something because you DO IT vs. LOVE IT — those don’t count. Then there was the manic phase a few months ago where I swallowed a pile of colored felt and coughed up a mini-pile of homemade brooches. That was fun except once I did it, it was done and I was over it. DONE — and staring at myself in the mirror all ARE YOU KIDDING ME? While the world danced around me giggling – -  it was a phase, a phase! (sung in a high pitched whisper)

But there were a few seconds of insanity where I saw myself running around reusing absolutely everything — from old glass bottles to burlap sacks (because you just KNOW I have tons of those laying around). I thought  – BRILLIANT. While I’m busy dying my own homemade paper, that I intend to eventually repurpose as mulch to grow my heirloom seeded lavendar plants for eventual use in, not only perfumes, sashes and recipes — but also for medicinal purposes… I can balance my baby on my head and let the almost 4 year old scour the floor for scraps to be put into our next green reusable project (photographed and photoshopped for online publication). THEN, when I’m finished antiquing for door pulls, wooden knockers and tiny little minted push-pins — I will find the time to sit down and write about all of it — sharing it with the world while I sew clothing for my children. Because that is what the job entails.

And while I am flattered and floored by the idea of working around such amazing people and MY HEAVENLY DAY — some pretty awesome stuff, I realized that by not knowing how to DIY — I might not fit in the picture just yet. YET, people, being the challenge and the, AHEM, operative word. And so I’m starting small… trying desperately hard to not look like an ass-hat. How would you use it in a sentence?

Because spelling out the word “FOR” is just exhausting.

Maybe you’re on Montauk Highway — or Noyac Road, winding your way east through the various Hamptons, eager to arrive at your destination — vacationing or not. The sun beaming through the sunroof or the salt encrusted wind blowing your hair with the top down on the convertible — Life, you think, could not be any less complicated when suddenly there — Wait, WHAT WAS THAT?

You know you want to stop — Take a closer look at the pile of stuff that has been left by the side of the road for the taking. Is it junk? Why are they getting rid of it? A pile of poolside lounge chairs; a toy kitchen set; side tables; other stuff. Maybe the garbage company wouldn’t take it — maybe the former owner didn’t want to pay the extra disposal charge, or felt guilty because, in the light of day, it really isn’t junk. WHO KNOWS. But will you stop? Will you decide to pull into the next available driveway to TURN AROUND and go see what you might be missing? No — Because you don’t need anything… I mean, not really. Especially not something left out by the side of the road. But wait. Yes, as you make a 3 point turn on a dead end street, maybe it’s something that could be salvaged… a fresh coat of paint, a quick once over with the power wash… I mean, it’s 4 FREE. 4 FREE! And who doesn’t love FREE, especially when added to the number 4?

But again, WAIT. As you slow the car, approaching and squinting to try and get a better look — What if someone SEES YOU? Not that you plan to clamor around on the side of the road, sunglasses acting as a face-mask. What if you are recognized as you grab that lamp that *could* probably, most likely not be vintage?… Or the twin sized headboard circa 1975 — who knows, maybe you WILL NEED IT SOMEDAY? When the kids get older and have kids of their own who come out to visit their Grandparents in the Hamptons for the weekend… wouldn’t it just be fun and RETRO to have the room all made up all Brady-style and campy? And yes, that might be 30+ years down the road from now, but whatever — will it ever be 4 FREE again!!?!

And as you now sit, across the street on the side of the road with your hazards on — Others passing by with the same rubber necking thoughts… “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure” crossing your mind — Remember 10 minutes ago when everything was so carefree? Now you’re late getting to your destination… And 4 Free doesn’t feel so free anymore as you once again decide to keep on going… Only to think about the possibilities now left, yet again, by the side of the road.

_____

This post is being repeated over at Southampton Patch… because it’s fun to share.  You can go there, or stay here… do whatcha like.

Getting back into IT.

And by “IT” I mean multiple things.

Anything resembling a routine is laughable, but I am finding the time to sit at my desk for a few minutes. {My desk which has now moved to our living room. Because moving my office to the basement was a huge mistake. I’m pretty sure that we’ve discussed this many many times. Yes, I like having a serious living room where you aren’t supposed to touch anything but I’m finding that rather unrealistic given the size of our accommodations. And kids too — they touch everything. No, the toys only become a bother when they try to strangle me. The basement was nice, but the amount of dust was irritating. Whatever, things will get back to normal eventually. Everything is in a constant state of motion. This is my life — get over it.}  I’m getting into it. I’m even working on a few design and blog projects WITHOUT procrastination. And while it might take a little bit longer than it used to, completing a project kind of feels like winning the lottery. Not that I’ve ever won… well… anything, but I would imagine that it has nothing to do with Charlie Sheen, and everything to do with feeling accomplished while enjoying the task at hand.

The other thing that I’m getting back to is regular life. That is to say — doing the mundane ritualistic things that one ordinarily does but pays absolutely no attention to. For example, laundry — which is now neatly folded in various baskets throughout the house… putting the clothes away has yet to be addressed. Dishes, cooking, cleaning… For a while — with the almost 3 month old and almost 4 year old — these things were nearly impossible. Finding the time to fit them in — between feedings, playing, and tantrum control has also become a task wrapped up within itself… Homemaking. Good times. Hello Sisyphus.

But I’m not the only one talking about this… Why just the other day my BFF Gretchen Rubin of Happiness fame and whom I’ve been known to stalk, posted a list of “If I Can’t Accomplish Anything Else Today, I Can Do These 10 Things”. I read her list which includes several obvious things like wearing her seatbelt and making her bed, and realized that I don’t really start my day with a goal in mind, but if these were the only things that I was able to accomplish in a day — I might drive myself insane. That, perhaps, I need my list to include something that leads to satisfaction, which in my mind might make for a pretty nice day…. She also mentions things like touching with affection, which (ew) we all do, but do we really need to TALK ABOUT IT? So, I’m taking it up a notch with my own list. A list of ten ITS that I need to do in order to keep my world order — which perhaps defeats Gretchen’s point entirely, but whatevs — MY BAG.

1. Make sure that my family is happy — and not just with me, but with everything going on with them. If they aren’t happy, I, in turn, will not be happy and the rest of this list will be useless…
2. Read something interesting…
3. Talk to someone on the outside — having kids sometimes leads to living in a sheltered cocoon where time stands still…
4. Caffinate…
5. Eat something yummy…
6. Straighten something… which goes back to #1, but if there is unrest, it must be solved immediately. If all is well, then I’m sure there’s something around here that needs to be TENDED.
7. Stretch… believe it or not, this is the easiest to forget about…
8. Go outside…
9. Laugh…
10. Take a picture.

And without leaving this post totally unended… and just hanging out there like some 90′s grunge junkie that didn’t overdose, what about you? What is your IT?

Afterthought: Bonus # 11. Internet… as a verb, noun and adjective.

When Will was born in 2007, I made a pact with myself to stay on top of the pictures that we take… and for a while I was really good at this. I would order prints monthly to send and add to our own library. This was in addition to emailing out digital versions almost every day to family and close friends. Being completely sensitive towards the fact that babies and children change on a minute to minute basis — and not living within an hours drive of any of our closest, I wanted to make everyone feel like they were watching Will grow. And it worked… that is up until sometime last summer when I totally lost control of the process and simply stopped ordering prints. I don’t know if it was because we became so busy with summer and the events of the year OR if it was because I was going through different cheap and therefore useless cameras — not really liking any and/or having them break consistently up until buying a really good one this past January. Regardless, I was behind. Hundreds of pictures behind, and the catalogue that I had started to compile grew only in a digital sense, which is frightening because NEVER TRUST TECHNOLOGY. Not even the devil knows what wrath would emerge should ANY of these pictures disappear… Because, you know. LIFE. Even the backup of my backedup backup needs a backup — and that might not even be enough.

SO, for the past few days I’ve been dealing with this situation, spending my spits and seconds of free time going through photographs from the past year… Ordering away and preparing the print books for their arrival… I found myself really enjoying this process… reliving all the fun times — ALMOST as if all of the “These are the Days” Natalie Merchants out there were finally being heard by my cynical ears for the first time… If only for a second. Okay – less than a second… OH WHATEVER — Maybe I didn’t hear anything. Natalie Merchant sounds like Elmer Fudd to me anyway. Sorry. That’s just the way it is. I saw her in concert once where she sang and danced with her back to the audience… It never really made very much sense to me other than maybe she wanted us to acknowledge her ass. Which, AHEM, I just did.

And without calling too much attention, at least not in terms of our faces and daily lives (or asses), here is one image of many that I feel compelled to share…

This is my sister Kate and my son Will playing in the surf last summer. I love this picture because — not only does Kate look beyond amazeballs as a silhouette, but it also encompasses what we did almost every other day last year — WENT TO THE BEACH. And it seemed endless — an endless summer of the beach and now that the weather this year is finally ready for it, I have to wonder when we will make it back…. Because HELLO, the only thing that infant babies hate more than losing sight of their food source (aka, my boobs) is the big wide open beach. We haven’t attempted to take Josephine yet, at two months old I’m not quite sure how she’ll handle it… I will have my boobs with me though, so she might not argue too much. I’m also not so sure how much Kate will like having her bathing beauty self being outed on the intergalactic airwaves… if only my boobs could appease everyone.

Okay Okay… This is it, I promise. After this post I will go straight back to the usual.

Not that I know what the usual is… Or that this blog has a typical rhyme, reason OR direction. But would you LOOK AT HER?! Already BORED! AND she’s currently a BLONDE. Please note that by using the ‘e’ in blonde we are adding the emphasis of ownership — that of being a “blonde” vs. the act of having blond hair. This could all change as life goes on, but I may reach out to other notable and original “blondes with an e” for assistance, you know, should things get out of hand — for now we (AHEM, a nuclear BRUNETTE family) are kind of tiptoeing around the situation… But it shouldn’t be a huge surprise, I mean, the GENES ARE THERE… My Mom and Sister are Blonde — Mr. Sal has a few on his side as well… AND it could go the other way at any moment.. Aside from nature altering courses, she could wake up one day and be all DUDE – I WANT BLUE or RED or BOTH. While the rest of us forget what it was like to be young and free and full of self-expression. Art for Art’s Sake. Live Free or Die. The possibilities are endless.

It’s only a matter of time until she realizes that she’s Blonde, until then we are basking in cuteness. Just wait until the day that we’re all “Hey, what do you want to do today?” To which she replies — WHATEVER, I’m BLONDE.

And while the picture is a little creepy — she was really just looking for some gum. Because nothing says Welcome Back like a good hunk of Big League Chew.

Not far off from the ill-fated woman in “The Ring” but totally not without holiday cheer…

We spent the past few days bouncing around the corners of New England, and while the weather had us all confused with ideas of gardening and snow boarding at the same time… We really just slunk around with face masks on without getting anything accomplished. I do plan to go on and on  (and on) about our little get away, but for now the only really important issue that was resolved was this blog and the continuance of. That being… da-ta-ta-da! It will continue.

Because I haven’t felt very good about blogging lately. I haven’t felt the need to talk about very much about pretty much anything… and this whispering guilt of the whole thing not being what I started out to accomplish in the beginning has had me feeling rather guilty. Yes. Guilty about myself. (insert sniffles and crocodile tears) Guilty about starting out to have a blog about a design firm that doesn’t exist anymore.. Guilty about having a great deal of interests and hobbies that I never write blog posts about… And while we’re at it… Guilty because I don’t fancy myself a very good “writer”. Guilty because I am not a very active participant in the blogs of others AND guilty about the whole sharing “thing” that surrounds writing a blog. But then when I answered the knock at the door, Cher gave me a good Moonstruck slap in the face.

“SNAP OUT OF IT!”

And while Dorian, Johnny Cammareri and I have found comfort and appreciation in things like this blog post over at Pajamas and Coffee as well as a social media confusion article in today’s NY Times… I have decided to STOP THE INSANITY (ew) and let go of caring about the rest of it… the number of readers, the hits vs. the visitors, the readers vs. comments… Not to mention the TIME is takes to do any of it all together! I mean if ignoring your child to write a blog post is a crime, then take my lifts and call me BERNIE!

In the beginning I didn’t care. I didn’t even care in the middle… but somewhere out there among the blogosphere I started to make comparisons and question my intentions… What, EXACTLY, did I think I was doing? And what would be so EARTH SHATTERING about SHUTTING HER DOWN? Because that’s what one does to things that make them unhappy, right?

So… while I sit here, weeding through pictures of our trip and continued house remodeling adventures that I plan to share with you… I hope that you will stick around, because there really is a lot to blog about…