Results tagged "Southampton F.C."

The consensus that I’m getting is that everyone is a little stressed out. Here is a fine example… and another… I’m feeling it too – as you know.. I wrote about it here, here and here. So, what can we do about it? “The Holidays” are supposed to be fulfilling… fun, cheer, love, presents, bodily warmth that can’t be explained (or is that just me?)… but alas – we all seem to have let LIFE into the scene and that makes for no fun. So.. what are we going to do? All muck about and complain? Well – apparently yes… unless we cancel the holidays… kicking Ol’ Saint Nick off the wagon into an unbridaled downward spiral… breaking things and scaring Rudolf. Poor, poor reindeer. And so, dear friends, I am afraid that there isn’t an answer to solve this holiday thing. It simply is not curable… unless you’re hanging out with me, of course (insert really scary laugh)… There is just nothing that can be done–so keep on keeping on, swearing and spitting on your own floors… just keep in mind that once Jan 2nd arrives, it isn’t over… The Holidays are merciless, and will return with a vengeance next year… if only to ensure vindication.. and the year after that.. and the year…

So… this all being said. Let’s all take a big swig of that bloody Bloody Mary and talk about something really really ground breaking… I HAVE A NEW BATHROOM…

Yep… whirling again.

Unlike most things in my life, I didn’t have the inspiring..”I’ll BLOG about this” thought in my head when we started the REDO – so I don’t have an actual picture of the bizarreness that was our “common” off the TV room bathroom… after a while we just used it as a drying rack. But here is my 2 minute rendering…

I know, but the ART is not for sale.

So.. we never used the shower because we have other showers in our house where the door doesn’t get all caught up in the cabinet doors.. and we rarely touched the toilet because we like to keep our feet on the floor rather than up against the shower glass when doing so. The people that lived in our house before us were of normal size – we’ve heard… so we will never understand how they managed to navigate this room comfortably… but hey, maybe they were into “it”.

Entering the room, this is the first thing that you see… We removed the shower and the tile floor and brought in hard wood to match the rest of the house.. Then we added molding and wainscotting (please note that I use the term “we” loosely.. thank you, Mr. Sal). The paint we had left over from another REDiD, which was great because it seemed silly to buy it for such a small space..

Notice the lovely off-centeredness of myself, the light fixture, mirror and sink.. I’d like to say that we did this intentionally in a tribute metaphor of the likeness of being… but that would be a total lie. I’m not totally sold on this mirror, by the way… I just couldn’t pass up the $49.99 @ Pier One Imports. Light fixture – Pottery Barn Outlet via Riverhead…cheap.

This BEAUT was also purchased at the PBO via Riverhead… a little on the pricey side, but it’s a super heavy piece of furniture, which for some reason – made it attractive. It’s currently being used as a changing table… although the boy is somewhat equal in length, so not for much longer. It is part of the Pottery Barn’s attempt to break into teenager home furnishings… You know, because teens are so into decor.

The TUB (insert angels singing)

If you live in the North East and have not heard of or been to United House Wrecking (UHW) in Stamford, CT… Stop reading this and get in your car and go there right now. My Mom and I found this 4′ bathtub last winter for the bargain price of $600. It was born in 1916 — imagine all the naked bodies that have bathed in its glory. Mr. Sal – who carried it home to Southampton on his back, swindled it for $500. It has feet, so one would assume that it can walk… which is good because it is coming with us everywhere we go for the rest of our lives.

Toilet. Because we had to.

This is a water color print of Portsmouth, New Hampshire where we once reigned supreme. We loved it there… Except for in winter.. when my face would freeze in the most unusual expressions. 

These lovely prints are by L. Young Studio… 

And, of course, the budding family artist… what would a room be without him?

That’s it! New bathroom, homespun greatness – just the perfect imperfections to be called our own… So, come on over if for no other reason than to USE OUR BATHROOM!

This is the time of the year, in the Hamptons, that I start to notice a shift in behaviors. There are two walks of life communing around town together — all aware of each other while turning a blind eye to each others existence. This is the way it should be…

Last week I was thinking about approaching the deli counter at Schmidt’s in Southampton. I took a loop around the store (again giant child in cart) and found myself at the back of a crowd. The line was typical, but what I immediately noticed was the silence… no one was talking and people looked at me with giant fear-filled eyes.

“My driver has my number — he just left the store to turn the air on in the car– I’m sorry but I was next — I might not have the number sweetie, but my driver will be happy to shove it up your a** if you want to step outside” — Man #1 said to Man #2 who I know to be a full-time Southamptoner…

I froze – becoming a part of the 12-odd equally frozen by-standers

“I didn’t realize that you needed a driver to do your dirty work” — said Man #2

“Do you reaaaally want to take this to another level just for the sake of your pathetic rotisserie chicken — you can get those at 7-11 for G*** sake… Honey, a pound of the LOOOOBSTER salad I said — not Tuna” — he wasn’t looking and slammed his hand basket to the ground “I swear, you people”. — Man #1…

Standing in front of me (of course) Enter Man #3.
“If that basket had come a hairline closer to my wife’s toes — you’d be crying over a hell of a lot more than your place in line…..You had better get some manners fast you F******* a*** NYC B*** S****F*****Mother ******Balls****Meal Ticket***Driver can **** My****Talk to ***** Loser *****Trust Fund*******”…… I can’t publish the rest–it was too much for anyone’s ears — the crowd roared with applause — whoop whoop from the deli staff.. I glanced over my right shoulder — Oooo sushi… I grabbed the spicy tuna and ran.

It’s not easy living among the two breeds. One never knows who is going to be THAT person — everyone looks really nice… And — it’s summer… for most it’s vacation… there shouldn’t be any angst. But alas… after leaving Schmidt’s I was… stuck in traffic–blood pressure rising, when a woman passed me on the right…at first I thought “who the H does she think she is..” Then she ran the red light and cut through the intersection… I laughed. Good for her. If I had a Trike — I might not have a care in the world either.