Results tagged "Sunscreen"

The Sun Just Warmed Up…

By Ry M. Sal on March 18, 2010 3:20 PM | 6 Comments

And I’m already sunburned.

heat.jpgBut that’s okay, because we’ve just ended the longest winter in the history of the world (you heard it here first) and I am waiting for a phone call at 3:15 — it’s now 3:24… not happening. Which means that as soon as I get up from this computer, I will be going back outside for more sun. Because, although it doesn’t look like I have very much to do  — I am actually very very busy. So busy, that I can’t really get anything done. So… I ask myself, why are you attempting to do more? As the list only grows longer and longer… I am also tired of blending in with the off-white walls — fading into the pale white sheets. Sunscreen? Who needs it, and where is the time to apply? Burn, baby BURN.

And here are some fun SUN safety tips brought to you by The Onion circa 2005. Because what’s wrong with a little cut and paste? Hmmm?

  • Always sit at least 100 yards from sun.
  • When applying sunscreen, get children on the beach to help with
    those hard-to-reach spots.
  • UV rays can damage the corneas; don’t forget to rub a good
    sunscreen into your eyes.
  • Risk of sunburn is especially high while swimming; strap on a
    thick lead suit before entering water.
  • Instead of using our sun, sunbathe using safer, more distant
    star like Beta-Sirius.
  • When tanning, always alternate who’s on top.
  • Before going outside, check sun’s strength by placing test baby
    in driveway for 1/2 hour.
  • Avoid harmful UV rays; live underground until your descendants
    evolve into eyeless, albino mole people.
  • Stabbings, while tanning or not, are very dangerous–avoid them.
  • For those raised in a red-sun environment, yellow sun may cause
    superpowers; use only for good.
  • Tanning is safest when done in short spurts; disrobe for just a
    couple of seconds every few blocks while walking through town.
  • Allow thick, protective melanoma to grow all over skin.
  • Avoid suntanning on inner planets like Mercury and Venus.
  • Block out harmful UV rays with giant magnifying glass.

 

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Hey Kids–Here’some corn, go get lost…

By Ry M. Sal on September 23, 2008 10:35 AM | 0 Comments

Hank has returned to his Water Mill field for the annual Pumpkintown celebration. Kids, wear your sneaks, puffy vests and sunscreen (for the nose). Parents, be prepared to stand around while your Golden Pear purchases make you vibrate. Passers by, be prepared to sit still among pumpkin rubberneckers taking in the scene. Our son Will is not yet old enough to enjoy Pumpkintown, but we are rather intrigued….

corn.jpg

This year Hank returns with his Maze of Maize. This idea a–mazes me… I’m sure it’s fun… but as a product of the ’80′s (aka warped mind) and not originally from an area that celebrates dried stalks…  I can’t help but get thrown back to a more simpler time when….. we avoided the corn.


In other news…  The Town of Southampton Rocks, but that doesn’t reall mean anything (Read More…), and a Designer’s procrastination… The Pattern Foundry.

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