Results tagged "Tiger Woods"

How are you?

I’ve been thinking about our conversation — about how you think that Picasso wasn’t really a bad guy, he just had commitment issues, and I really have to disagree with your juxtaposition on the Tiger Woods matter — but you are entitled to your opinion. Is it at all possible that the Olympics have gone to your well frosted head? Too much up close and personal?  Or are you just intimidated by Z-Germans? Because although they are undeniably günter höhne, I suspect they might be all talk and no show. But that’s just me.

You know what else IS me? Closing one company and opening another in a span of three weeks… with a 2 year old sitting on my lap, while I design logos with one eye and bake dairy and egg free chocolate cupcakes with the other. Literally. And, as I look out the window I see glops of white starting to mix in with the monsoon. With one office half moved out and the other half moved in and décor resources beginning to haunt. Because Martha I am not, and I’m kinda happy about that. But what about you, Cupcake?

Enough about me. Let’s talk about you.

How was your trip to Egypt and your journey to the center of the earth? Was it anything like the movie? And what did you and The Queen talk about? Did you dazzle her with your experience as Gordon Sumner’s Sommelier… The Peace keeping battle where you carried Bono to the sidelines in what you panicked to be near death–only to realize that it was nothing but a drunken stupor? Or did you just go on and on about America’s Next Top Model like you usually do? You really should allow yourself to take credit for all that you have accomplished… I mean you are only 20 minutes old — and I know this is just touching on half of the story.

There was the time that Lloyd Dobler stood in the rain in anguish over his broken heart… gripping his pen? One can only assume. But, dear Cupcake, the point of my letter is getting lost in the fodder of “where are we now”? Because to come full circle would require more than a burning flag, James Joyce and the Easter Bunny. No. We need something much stronger and more organized… Something to inject life into the icing on top… Something with promise and compassion… Something for completion… with texture. Beyond all cause, and hold off the guard…before I start to make sense… Because, we need sprinkles.   

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During a conversation yesterday I mentioned that For the Birds was quoted this week on Forbes.com – the Forbes Woman Community to be exact… a beautiful collection of worldly topics on all things being woman. A nice “how do you do” to the ladies of Tiger Woods attempting to throw us back to the good ol’ ancient Mesopotamian times when it was part of the routine to look yourself in the mirror, say – yeah he’s married and kind of a jerk, but he has zillions and maybe, just maybe I can get a reality show out out of this… Or at least a few minutes on Access Hollywood–Damn I love that Billy Bush…. Quick, I need to make myself look almost man-like, with boobs, killer jaw and hair extensions… okay… now, bigger lips–spray that tan all over… And TA-DA!… Yes, you too can go out and build your very own fame via megaloid sex-addicted celebrity super stars. It is that easy.. Just look at Ashley Dupre… the new columnist at the New York Post… don’t those glasses make her look smart? But I digress…

During a conversation yesterday I was chatting with my friend Mari, over at Small for Big, about how For the Birds was
quoted this week on Forbes.com – the Forbes Woman Community to be exact. She replied, “Forbes.com? niiiiiiiiice.  Maybe I should be a mommy-blogger after all.” My eyes grew huge.. I mean HUGE… Mommy-blogger! MOMMY-BLOGGER! NOOOOOOoooooooo! I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with it. Not that there’s anything wrong with going online and dictating verbatim every living second and movement and FEELING (ew feelings) that I have as a relatively new mom… Not that there’s anything wrong with splashing each and every image and/or video of my child online for EVERYONE to see. Every moment… panting.. I’m panting… water! – sparkling lemon effervescence water… whew.

Wait. I don’t do any of those things.. okay maybe one or two of them. But how could I not mention the the world’s most AMAZING 2 year old every once in a while… okay maybe a little bit more than that.. okay, so maybe every other post.. or ALL THE TIME. Like now.

So, while questioning my entire existence on the internet, I asked Mari, “IS THAT WHAT I AM!” and then reached into my MacPro and pulled out the blog, guts-n-all and headed towards the shredder–MOMMY-BLOGGER! I’ve been defined! HOW CAN IT POSSIBLY GO ON! As I threw the blog down the stairs.. it bounced and cried out… “I’M NOT A MOMMY-BLOG, I’M NOT! I’M ANYTHING YOU WANT ME TO BE…” And as I reached into the toy box for the wiffle bat… it occurred to me. I’m okay with it. Mommy-Blogger I might be… but this blog is about so many other things (ahem, ME) that it simply can’t be just one definition… and then Mari replied, “Frankly, I hate the term. Demeaning somehow. So no, of course that’s not what you are, you are ten times more than that. Me too.”

And with that, it was settled. The term is demeaning… because there are more Mommy-Blogs out there than there are Humans on this planet… To say it insinuates that the design is homespun, the stories are 2-cent and the humor is.. well “nice”, and chances are there are contests, coupons, and mediocre product reviews.. OH MY!… AND, it puts all the words, views, rants and stories into one big massive rolling sphere–LOTS of talking… and not a lot of doing… BUT, in the true definition of a “weblog” – a personal diary made public, there are also TONS of great blogs out there… Blogs like this one (yeah, its all going to my head–Let them EAT CAKE!)… Women that mention their kids here and there… every once in a while… focusing on life and pop culture like the ladies of all things Tiger… or simply LIFE in general… life, you know, being so unpredictable. So who are we?

The answer… after a series of drafts, research and hair pulling… is as complex as it is simple… Do what you want, obviously, but in the world of constant defining and redefining, if you have something to say… Blog about it, but avoid the Mommy-Blog status, remain unique… personal and blog eclectic. 

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It’s that time of the year.
Enough Said.

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