Results tagged "Vaccine"

After sitting in the H1N1 tank disguised as Dr. F’s waiting room for almost over an hour… My name was called.

Dr. F: Why do you want to get a flu shot?
Me: Why, do I have to qualify for one?

Dr. F silently glares at me over his glasses.

Me: Well, because you pinched me last winter when I came to you dying of influenza – 102 fever, glands swollen to the size of grapefruits. Then you yelled at me. Also, my son, who is two, can’t get the either of the flu shots. I don’t usually enjoy injecting anything into my body, but I feel that I might be a good candidate.

Dr. F: Your son needs to get both shots, why won’t you allow him to have them?
Me: I would most definitely give him the shots but he’s allergic to eggs and both vaccines are grown in eggs.
Dr. F: Did you take him to an Allergist?
Me: (in my head) No, a Veterinarian.
Me: Yes, Dr. B. He is B to the A awe-some.

Dr. F: What kind of test did he have?
Me: Blood
Dr. F: Are you sure the results were 100%?
Me: Yes.
Dr. F: You should double check.
Me: I’ve checked, but also there isn’t a Pediatrician or Allergist alive that will give the flu shots to a 2 year old that is even remotely allergic to eggs.

Dr. F: Well your husband needs the flu shot too.
Me: He was here on Friday and you gave him one.
Dr. F: He’s not on this list – he didn’t get one.
Me: I was waiting in the car outside while he came in to get one.
Dr. F: Why were you waiting in the car, you could have come in to get one too.
Me: I was in the car so that we wouldn’t have to bring our son into your infested waiting room and I did come in after he had his shot but the wait was too long so I’m here now.
Dr. F: Well he’s not on this list.
Me: Well, Dr. F, the list is wrong.

We silently stare at each other.

Dr. F: RUTH!?!?! Can you check the other list to see if Mr. Sal had his flu shot on Friday?
Me: The “other” list?

Dr. F says nothing and gets up to prepare my flu shot.

Me: Dr. F, the “other” list?

Dr. F walks over to me, asks me to roll up my sleeve and then–with all the mighty force in his aging 5′ body, proceeds to jam the flu shot into my arm muscle. That was five days ago and my arm is still sore.

Me: Ouch!

Dr. F: RUTH?!?!?

Ruth: He’s on this list. He was here and got the shot.

Dr. F: (not looking at me) Okay, well at least he’s on A list.

Dr. F leaves the room.

Ruth: NEXT PATIENT!!!!!

  

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